Signs of the time....

   I recently had the opportunity to spend a week in New Jersey. Jersey is not new territory for me. I lived there in my early years, graduated from high school at one of the area schools and after attending college out-of-state, moved about a bit until finally settling down in Maine. But every once and a while I find myself navigating the roads and highways of the Garden State. Each time becomes just a bit more challenging and sometimes exciting.

   ( I want to add here that the recent fire at the Jersey shore was a terrible event and I feel very sorry for the people there. I have fond memories of walking the boardwalk, playing the games and eating the seashore food delights. It truly has been a difficult year for the area, first the hurricane and now the fire.)

   There are two things that I noticed this trip. The trees seemed extra tall compared to what I remember. More significant was the amount of traffic on the roads, in some cases almost always bumper to bumper. Many of the locations I had to visit were only a few miles from where I was staying, but drivers in Jersey don't base travel on miles, they use a measure of time and often it can take nearly an hour to travel just 15 miles. Life in New Jersey seem to be dictated by the amount of traffic someone faces each time they get into the car. I can not imagine going to work each day, knowing I might spend an hour in the car before I get to the office.

   To assist people in their travel, the highway department has installed road signs, hundred of them. Some are the standard metal ones, common to most of us who drive, no matter where we live. A newer version are the electronic ones that flash warnings and alerts that can change at a second's notice with the flip of a switch at some DOT office some where. What caught my attention this trip where the message on the signs and how no one really cares. Metal or electronic, here are a few of my favorites.

   YIELD. Whether it is the old fashion yellow sign stuck in the ground or the flashing electronic one, I am not sure drivers have a clue as to what it means. From my driver ed class days, I thought I remember that it was to mean Yield Right of Way. But therein is the dilemma...who has the right of way? The answer is simple. Me! (I yield to... no one!) Perhaps the Yield sign has outlived its understanding.

   MERGE AHEAD. This one scares me a bit. Traveling at 75-80 mph and coming up on a Merge sign doesn't leave a great deal of time to plan. Merge left or right? Maybe the police car that just passed me with lights flashing and siren blaring will be able to tell me in a couple of minutes.

   SLOW TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT. This one is probably one of my favorites. Often paired with MOVE OVER, IT'S THE LAW! I think the intention here is to provide some space where someone can travel at a more reasonable rate of speed. A highway with eight lanes, four in each direction does not offer a slow lane and if you happen to be stuck in lane three and want to move to the 'right'...well good luck. You can try to use your blinker to signal your intention to those behind you, but it might be safer to stay where you are, close your eyes and just go with the flow. (There goes that police car again.)

   MAINTAIN CURRENT SPEED. (This one usually flashes on one of the electronic sign boards.) Truthfully, I have no idea what the intended message is here. Three drivers, one traveling at 55 mph, one at 65 mph and the third at 80. And maintaining your current speed is suppose to do what, create less traffic problems?

    EXIT RAMP LEFT. Aren't all exit ramps suppose to be on the right, especially when you have just maneuvered you way into the right lane for the last three miles, assuming you would be exiting to the right! Thank goodness to the GPS system in the car.”Recalculating.” I am waiting for the directions to say...”Turn around and go home!”

   Speaking of turning...NO U TURN. It's Rt. 4, almost rush hour. I can not believe the driver in the blue BMW just did a U-TURN at that stop light which is clearly marked NO TURNS. Wonder what his car insurance bills look like?

   STOP. Regardless of whether it is a busy intersection or a back country road, the word 'stop' is gradually working its way out of the English language. We just don't have time to 'stop' anymore, and this doesn't always apply to just driving either. We are a nation that feels  it has to be on the move. If we are not moving, then something must be wrong. Right?

   The trip to New Jersey was a success, seeing friends and family and completing a bit of work along the way. But it also reminded me that sometimes the road signs along the highway apply to more than just our driving, they might apply to life too. 

Better than sliced bread?

   I first learned about it almost 45 years ago. Since then it has become a mainstay of my tool box and work bench. There probably has never been anything invented that has had such an impact upon the lives of millions of people. Yes! You guessed it...Duct tape!

   My first encounter with duct tape was in the summer of 1965. It was a summer job and I was working at a local mechanical services shop that installed air conditioning and duct work. Imagine that. At one point in its history, duct tape was used to seal the seams of heating and cooling duct work. After inserting one end of the duct work into another, it was screwed together and then wrapped with duct tape to prevent cool air from escaping at the seams.

   Over the years, like many others, I found numerous other uses for duct tape.

   For example, I have used it to secure  pieces of trim that had come loose on the driver side door of my car.

    I recently noticed the owner of a car parked next to me in a local parking lot had a similar idea and was using duct tape to keep the passenger side door closed. Not sure how smart that was! But it seemed to be working.

   Many use duct tape to secure a broken pane of glass until it can be fixed. It may be so effective that the glass never gets replaced.

   Often an extra pair of hands can come in handy to help temporarily hold something in place. No vice or clamps available, a piece of duct tape comes in very “handy”.

   I know there have been people who have made dresses and other clothing from duct tape. Prom dresses seem to be popular. I actually find that to be a bit tacky, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I will admit that on occasion I have used a small piece of duct tape hold a pant cuff in place until it can be restitched, but an entire pair of pants? Not for me.

   Now sometimes I think duct tape gets a bad wrap. As useful and helpful as it can be, it has also been used in many practical jokes, like taping the teacher's desk drawer shut or wrapping a co-worker's mid morning snack in enough duct tape so that they will never get it out of the bag.

   A trip to the local auction reveals its role in keeping well used, well worn tools from falling apart in hopes that someone will purchase them. But duct tape used to keep a wheel from falling off a lawn mower? I'm not sure about that one.

   While there are many funny and humorous uses of duct tape, there have been some serious tragedies too. Adults have been known to duct tape a child to a chair or tape a child’s hands behind their back for hours and hours causing severe injury and maybe even death. I don't believe that was the intention of the inventor, but there is an evil side to society and unfortunately things will get used in ways they are not intended. (Wasn't that a social worker who duct taped a foster child to a chair a few years ago? )

   Duct tape is a member of the 'tape' family, others being scotch, masking and electrical. One of the actors they makes duct tape so useful, though is it's strength. Ever try to tear a piece off the roll and not use your teeth or scissors to assist? And sometimes there will be that last remaining strand of string that runs along the edge.....If you have ever had this happen to you, you know what I am talking about.

   I hope that's not a piece of duct tape wrapped around the wing if the airplane I am about to board. I know the tape is strong, but...My mistake. The maintenance person is using it to keep his pant legs from flapping in the breeze. That's a relief.

   Often I will take a piece of duct tape and as I remove nuts and screws from a piece of furniture, I will stick them to the tape so I won't lose them. I am sure no one else has ever thought of doing that. Now if I can just remember where I put that little strip of tape so I can put this table back together.

   The best use of duct tape however, may have been discovered by our Governor. Admitting that he often has a problem keeping his mouth shut, he has told his staff that he now has a role of duct tape in his desk drawer and “from now until election day, when I want to say something off color, I am going to tape my mouth shut.” 

   Sorry Gov. Not sure there is enough tape this side of the Mississippi River for that! 

And who are you waiting for?

   I recently overheard a conversation in the store the other day. It was obvious that one person was having a difficult time making a decision about something. The other , trying to move along said..."What are you doing, waiting for Godot to help you decide?" Godot?
    In the late 1940's Samuel Beckett wrote a play, “Waiting for Godot” in which two men wait endlessly for a character named Godot. The play was first performed in 1953 and its uniqueness has prompted numerous interpretations over the years. It certainly was not a musical.
   With vague memory, I remember tackling the play in a  foreign language class in high school. At that time and age, most of us probably missed the meaning of the play as we were more interested in sports, dating and fast cars. We were  waiting for no one!
   In a brief summary, Vladimir and Estragon meet near a tree and share with each other that each is waiting for a man named Godot. While waiting, they are joined by two others who act, sing and dance, but then disappear.
   Later a young boy arrives and says that he has a message from Godot. The boy tells the two that Godot will not be joining them this evening, but that he will be there tomorrow. The two  continue their discussion and the scene ends.
   The next night (Act II) the men meet again at the tree. They are joined by the other two men from the previous night, but this time the others are very old and do not remember ever meeting Vladimir and Estragon. They depart as they did the night before, leaving Vladimir and Estragon silently waiting for the arrival of Godot.
   The young boy again arrives and announces that Godot will not be coming. When questioned why after being told the night before Godot would be there, the boy insists that he had not spoken to them  before and did not know who they were.The play ends.
   Over the years the play has been analyzed, interpreted and analyzed again in an attempt to discover Beckett's  meaning and purpose. Some have suggested its political overtones while others its religious and spiritual meaning. When it appeared in the theaters in the 1950's and 60's it was seen as an 'existential masterpiece', written, in part, to encourage people to extend beyond the boundaries of everyday life.Today that is called 'thinking outside the box.' The search for its meaning still goes on  today as characters act out the roles and emotions on the stages in the small off-beat theaters  across the country.
   It has been a long time since I read the play back in high school. I didn't really understand its meaning then and not sure I do today. Perhaps it might be worth my time and curiosity to read it again, now that I am older and wiser.
   Instead of asking the simple question...”what's this all about?..I might understand that the play is a reflection of people looking to understand life. Perhaps I would understand that most of us go through life waiting for something to happen 'to us', like winning the lottery or having the perfect job offered to us rather than going out and taking personal responsibility to make something happen, being proactive. Perhaps I would better understand the difference between 'waiting' and 'doing'.
   Viewing the play again might help me understand why people  appear to go through life aimlessly, walking up and down the shopping aisles of a store or sitting on the front steps of a building watching life pass by, still hoping to meet someone who will change life for them. In reality the only people most  meet are much like themselves, people looking, waiting and hoping.
   There have been times that I have 'waited for Godot', waited for someone to walk up to me with  the hopes and promises  that  might change my life, But as in the play, Godot never arrives. Like the little boy who keeps coming back time after time with the promise that Godot would arrive tomorrow, it turns out to be nothing more than time spent waiting.

The early lessons of life are learned in............

   With the start of school just around the corner, I am reminded of a story I heard not too long ago.
   The young child returned home from his first day of school and approached his father.
    “How can I become smarter?” he asked.
   Somewhat perplexed by the question, the father thought for a moment. His initial response was to tell the child to ask his mother, but decided against that, not because he doubted what his wife's answer would be, but more that the son might think mom was smarter than he was.
   “Why do you ask?” the father asked.
   “Because the kids in school say I am stupid and .(sniff,sniff)..I want to be smart like them.”
   The dad reassured his son that he was not stupid and if he attended school every day, worked hard and did what the teachers said, he would be just as smart and maybe even smarter than the other kids. Satisfied with that answer for now, the boy raced off to his room to play.
   The question got the father thinking. What had the other kids said to his son? Did they really think he was stupid or were they just teasing him. Was it because of the clothes he wore or the house he lived in?
   The lessons of kindergarten can be  really  hard. His son was very smart but the family did not have a great deal of money to buy nice clothes or live in a really nice house or drive a fancy car. Was this the beginning of a very unsuccessful school experience or was it the  first steps of growing up.
  Many years ago a book hit the literary market, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”, by Robert Fulghum. Once and awhile, I pull the book off the shelf and thumb through the pages as a gentle reminder how important those early years are in school and how they often set a pattern for life. Most of what we need to survive in life is not that complicated and we generally learn those survival skills at a very early age.
   For some strange reason, even at my age, I can still remember some of the days in kindergarten. Perhaps what I remember most are the days that taught me the greatest lessons and it wasn't always math or reading..    For example, I can remember sitting in the corner for what seemed like forever because I would not share some of the toys.(Back in those days, kindergarten was more social and play than academics and homework as it is today.) I can remember being sent to the office because I hit my best friend Billy. But... he deserved it! And to top it off, the principal even made me tell him I was sorry, which I really wasn't at the time.
   I can remember 'staying after school as a class' to help clean up the room because we had made such a mess. ( In those days, you got punished as an entire class, even if you didn't do anything. Yeah, right! We all did something, with the exception of the little blond girl.) This particular day we had a substitute teacher and the principal had come into the room several times because of all the noise. We were told that if we didn't get the room cleaned up in a hurry, we would miss the bus. Miss the bus!! That was worse than death.
   But there were some good times too. Snack time at mid morning seemed to make the time go by faster. We learned to walk instead of run, always line up to go to the bathroom and stay together on field trips.We always had to hold hands. Ugh! (Except if you were next to the little blond girl. All the guys wanted to be next to her.)
    And then there was nap time. Nobody every really slept, with the exception of Ralphie. He always slept, even when we were not suppose to... .like during science.
   I miss those nap times. But wait, I am retired now. I can nap any time I want!

Sorry Lucky...I missed it!

    There should have been  a birthday party several weeks ago. Nothing big. No cake or ice cream. A couple of bones and a new toy. It was Lucky's third birthday.

   For those who follow our family, you will remember that several years ago  we decided that after a few  years without, we would get a dog, this time a puppy. After careful research and with allergies to pet fur, we opted for a standard poodle. They were said to be smart, easy to train and were pretty much hypo-allergenic because, instead of fur, they have hair. 
   Little did I understand who would require the training.

  When we brought him home from the kennel, he weighed about eight pounds. He was a cute little ball of black curly hair and big black eyes that would melt the heart of almost anyone. It was a thirty minute ride and we had anticipated tears and crying, for after all, he was leaving his mother and father, brothers and sisters. But we didn't cry, nor did he   and he enjoyed the trip to his new home.

   We were warned that the first few nights could be difficult and were prepared with all the recommended tools to make the adjustment as stress free as possible. There was a soft blanket, a warm water bottle  and an old shirt that he had been sleeping with while at the kennel for several weeks. Come to find out, those items were really for us. The first night he slept just fine and has done so ever since. Maybe he was happy to get away from those pesty siblings!

   With what seemed like a few short months, he put on some weight, grew longer, taller and so much stronger. By Thanksgiving of that year, he began to look, not like the cute little puppy he had been, but a mature and strikingly handsome young adult dog.

   The first trip to the groomer was like taking a child to the barber for the first time. Our previous experience with dogs did not involve regular hair cuts, but with Lucky it was going to be different. Nervous? He was fine. We weren't so sure. But he really liked the bath part. After all, poodles are water dogs. Right? At home he freely jumps into the bath tub, waiting patiently for someone to turn on the water.
   And now, at age three, he enjoys his trips to Danielle, his groomer, except when the hair is removal from the ears. (That would bother me too.)

   Poodles are very smart and we have found that to be true. Training has been a challenge, not for him, but for us. He has trained us well!  We have been part of a training program  that rewards with treats and  have met with great success. He loves to eat. Sit, drop, heel, front, are all part of his current vocabulary. Stay...For sure. 'Leave it' is also a success. He does  well and I am sure there are a number of other words he knows. His favorite word? Treat! The classes are going  well for both him and for us. Thanks Stephanie! 
   At three, he is very strong and his current weight is nearly eighty pounds, a long way from the eight pounds when we brought him home.

   From the beginning, he  enjoyed riding in the car and is quite eager to go anywhere we are willing to take him. "Car!!" and he runs to the door. Generally he either sleeps or looks out the back window, but he does like the ride.
   One of his favorite trips is to the dump.... sorry, the transfer station. He knows the route well and if I deviate at all, he becomes quite confused.

   Having a dog  has been a 'life'  refresher course for us. It is  hard not have a smile on your face when you to look into his big black eyes, talk to him  and watch as his head tilts from side to side as if he understands every word being said. .

   So to the 'Luckster", I am really sorry  we forgot your special day. Happy birthday guy!  :)

You can't get there from here...or can you?

    Over the past several weeks I have had occasion to travel out of state. It was into territory not that unfamiliar to me although it has been years since I visited the area. The trip to New York City was pretty simple. If I knew how to count and could find 5^th Avenue, I was in pretty good shape. But traveling the countryside in eastern Pennsylvania was going to be more of a challenge. I needed to do some homework.

   As a young lad, I hung out at a local gas station and one of my jobs on a weekly basis was to stock the racks that held the maps. Remember maps? They were the colorful, multi-folded pieces of paper that diagrammed the various streets and highway in a particular region. But like going the way of the dinosaur, paper maps are almost a thing of the past, replaced by modern technology and instant access.

   One of the things I liked about a map was that you could look at a large area and get a better understanding of where places were in relationship to each other. You could run you finger along Route 46 and get a sense of where you were and where you were going.

   Surely tucked away somewhere in the deep recesses of the car must be a map or two and with luck, it would be exactly what I needed. I was not surprised to find a map of Pennsylvania stashed away the glove compartment of the car since the car had belonged to my parents and they had lived in the Pennsylvania for a number of years..

   I unfolded the map and found the side with the Philadelphia area. What caught my eye as I scanned the map was the date in the lower corner. 1994. How much could things change in  twenty years? Let me tell you, there can be a number of changes.
    I am not sure why, but men seem to have a difficult time asking for directions. Even with our keen sense of direction, sometimes we get pointed  the wrong way and within minutes it is possible to be facing a sign that says “Dead End”.

   “Why didn't you stop at the gas station a few miles back to ask for directions?”

   “Because....men don't ask for directions!”

   Like many others, I have replaced the use of a map with something called a GPS, Global Positioning System. At any point and time, you know exactly where you are on the planet and it can help you find your way to where you want to be.  I  admit that the device has come in handy on occasion. It can give you the most direct route in time, the route that has the fewest number of miles or maybe even the route with the most fast food restaurants.

   Knowing that I might be in some unfamiliar territory in PA and not having a great amount of extra time to spend getting directions, I packed my GPS in my suitcase, assuming that the pilot of the plane had his own GPS in the cockpit and would not be needing to use mine.

   The trip was fairly uneventful and the GPS helped me navigate my way to the various stops I had to make with only one or two misdirections.

   I don't use a map or a GPS system much when I'm home. Part of the adventure to living in Maine is sometimes getting lost and ending up exploring a whole new area and often the map in the GPS does not show the road I may be traveling. For example, it does not show the Horseback Road, a road leading out of town where I live. It shows only the symbol of a car stranded in the middle of a patch of green.

   Several weeks ago I decided to do a bit of exploring and headed out with no map and the GPS safely locked away in the trunk. It didn't take long for me to realize that I needed some help. This was somewhat new territory for me. I know where I wanted to be, but I had reached the end of a dirt road. I turned around and made a stop at the nearest country store and, yes.... went in to ask directions.

 “Can you tell me how to get to......” I asked?

 "Sonny, you can't get there from here,” was his reply.

   Somewhat puzzled, I returned to the car, popped open the trunk, plugged in my trusty GPS and typed in the address. It loaded the maps but the message on the screen was quite clear. I couldn't get there from here! I would have to turn around and start over. 
   The wisdom of the gentleman in the store may have been right. Sometimes you just may not be able to get where you want to go from where you are. Sounds like one of 'life's little lesson' to me. Wouldn't you agree?

Abducted by aliens..

           A few weeks ago I was abducted by aliens, taken aboard a space ship and whisked away to the outer limits of the solar system. The ride was actually rather smooth and very fast. But when one travels faster than the speed of light, what else is there to expect. 
          The spaceship made a sharp turn and with a sudden jolt came to a stop, sending me sprawling to the floor. There I was, on the floor of a space ship.. in outer space.
          As if by magic, I was picked up off the floor, put into a chair and placed under a series of bright interrogations lights. All I could see in front of me were sets of glowing bright green eye, thousands of them. The heat from the lights caused me to break out in a sweat. I remember once being told, “Never let them see you sweat!” But the lights were really hot and I was sweating.
          There was a quiet buzz around the room. It did not sound like talking, but I was sure it was some form of telepathic communication going on among the 'beings' in the room. 
          As quickly as the buzz began, it was now silence. A pale yellow light moved directly in front of me. From deep within the light came a  voice, a voice one might expect to hear from someone like Tom Brokaw.
          “Do you know why you are here,” the voice asked?
          I didn't have a clue, but I thought I would play along for a minute or two. Sometimes my curiosity gets in the way.
          “Of course. You need a quick-witted, intelligent human from the planet earth to study in order to strengthen and enrich your new society and I am just the person.”
          There was a roar of laughter. The voice cleared its throat and the laughter stopped.
          “Well, maybe that's what you think. But that’s not the reason. I am going to ask you two questions and the answers you give will determine whether you return to earth.”
          There was a sudden seriousness to the voice and I began to think that this was real. How difficult could two questions be. I'm a pretty smart guy, but just in case, i wondered if I had a lifeline, someone I could call? But I surmised I was now on my own.
          “Question one. Name three people upon whose life  you have had a significant influence.”
          I began to think about all the people I had come into contact throughout my life; kids, parents of kids, clients, colleagues, friends, enemies, the people in the grocery stores.  The more I thought the more difficult it became because I really didn't know if I had had any influence or not. I wanted to believe that I had, but.... I guess I really wasn't sure.
         "Could we move on to question 2"
         “Question two. Name one event in you life  that, if given the opportunity, you would do over.”
          That was easy! There were many things I would do over. Wait a minute. This was a trick question. Life does not allow ‘do-overs’. Life is an on-going process and while we do not get the opportunity for ‘do-over’, we do get the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and move on.
           There was sudden silence.
          As quickly as I had been whisked away into outer space, it was now dark. The only light and  sound was  coming from my television.What had just happened? 
          I know I hadn't been abducted by aliens. I had  fallen asleep while watching television. But the two questions in my dream were stuck in my head. Who, if anyone, had I influenced and had that influence been positive or negative? What roll, if any, had I played in making someone's life just a little bit better, a paying it forward type moment? And is that something we ever know or should we?
           Question 2 was equally as difficult to answer. There were many things I would "do over" if given the opportunity, but the  circumstances of the time made the outcome what it was. Similar circumstance might lead to similar results. It would only be  the future that would tell  if I really learned from my  mistakes?.
            I fall asleep often  watching television. What I had not expected was to be 'abducted' by my thoughts, forcing me to reflect upon the quality and purpose of  my life. Had this little experience been some kind of test?