For just one day...

   I was speaking with someone the other day and was somewhat surprised to learn that...he did not own a cell phone! The astonished look on my face prompted him to add that he did not have a Facebook page either. The Facebook account I can somewhat understand. I only “joined” Facebook several months ago myself and admittedly lived quite comfortable without it. But I thought everyone, or nearly everyone had a cell phone. I mean, come on, some parents even deprive their children of healthy meals or positive family time in order to pay for a cell phone.

   And if someone doesn't have a cell phone, what do they do while driving in the car to occupy their time? Does it mean both hands on the wheel?

   My question to him.”What would you do if he needed to get in touch with someone in a hurry or worse, someone needed to get in touch with him to check up on the time for dinner or ask the age old question...'whatcha doin' ?”

   As I walked to the car, checking my cell phone for messages, I thought about the discussion I had just had. Was his life simpler, less complicated than most other people? What was he 'missing out' on? But then I thought, maybe I was the one 'missing out'.

   For just one day, what would happen if we all turned off our cell phones? What would we miss? What did we miss before cell phones became so much a part of our lives or did we just plan our lives more efficiently back in the pre-cell days?

   Talk about going 'cold turkey'! No cell phones! The nation's teenagers would suffer a mild meltdown of some sort. And so would many of adults also.

   For just one day, what would happen if you didn't check our Facebook page or better yet, didn't post anything for that day. Your Facebook friends might think you had been abducted by aliens and taken to a far away planet. If that were the case, think about what you could write about the next day!

   To go one step further, for just one day what would you miss if you didn't check you email. For me? I would miss the Kohl's and LL Bean sales notices or the notice from my the doctor reminding me of my upcoming colonoscopy. (It's not actually the doctor sending me the email but it's nice to know she cares.)

   What would happen if for just one day we didn't drive our cars. What about a 'country-wide shut down' when no one drove...all taking place on the same day. Think about how much fresher the air might be or the gas though would be saved. Ah yes, then the price would go up the next day. But, need to get somewhere? Either walk or plan ahead. I see a number of people riding bikes these days. That might work. Remember, there was a time when each household only had one car and most families survived. These day, many have two cars and..oh yes, maybe an additional truck to pull the four wheeler or snow sleds.

   For just one day, what would happen if you turned off the television or 'talk radio' shows and picked up a book. No, Kindles don't count. It has to be a book, something you hold in you hand and gently turn the pages. Nothing electronic on this day.

   Without the television or radio you might miss hearing about events happening in a far off place or miss out on one of our Governor's profoundly political insights (I call them LePage's Rages). So what! If it is going to happen, it is going to happen and we will learn about it soon enough. But by the end of the day, think about how much more peaceful you might feel?

   Just for one day what would happen if we hung up the cell phone, turned off the computer, parked the car in the driveway and took a nice, quiet walk with a friend or family member, played catch with the dog or spent time looking through an old family photograph album or looked at items tucked away in the 'junk drawer'. (That's a reference to a previous column I wrote.)

   With respect, I admire those who can put aside the cell phones and the texting, are not signing into Facebook to see what others are doing (do I really want to know?) or checking email every few minutes. What was suppose to make our lives a bit easier and less complicated has turned into something controlling and often obsessive.

   Not ready to take the leap just yet? Maybe just for one day we at least think about not answering that cell phone call. Let it go to voice mail. Who ever is calling, you can get back to them later!

The demise of a civilized society...

   I recently visited the local drug store to pick up a Mother's Day card, but equally important, to check out the newly completed renovations. Very nice! All the shelves in the store are now lower so that someone standing near the back of the store can see what is happening at the front of the store. I assume they are trying to cut down on drug store robberies. The lower shelves do offer a much more open feeling and great visibility.

   As I left the store an elderly lady, with several packages in hand was trying to open the door (the store does not have the automatic doors) and she almost dropped one of the bags she was carrying. I opened the door for her and she successfully negotiated her way to the parking lot.

   As we each approached our vehicles, she shouted to me.”Thank you for holding the door for me,,,sonny! I was not that much younger than she was, but if someone wants to call me 'sonny', who am I to complain?

   The expression of 'thank you' has long been a tradition and a reflection on what some have referred to in the past as a 'civilized society'. But like many other things, times change and expressing a 'thank you' to someone as a sign of gratitude may soon become a distant memory.

   The use of “thank you” as an expression of gratitude dates back  as early as 900 AD. Some credit the Germans and the word “thankojan” as the early beginning of the expression “thank you”. Hmm...let's think about this for a minute. .'thank-o-jan' Those   Germans have always had a flare for words (Must be my imagination at work here.)

   Over the years expressing gratitude became a hallmark of being appreciative and saying “thank you” to someone was something learned at an early age. Parents taught children gratitude and respect. As often happens, though, 'thank you' was shortened to “thanks”, but the intent and meaning was still the same. But soon 'thank you' or just plan 'thanks' may be gone forever.

   Greeting card companies were quick to get into the act too and “thank you” notes and cards became a way to express appreciation and you can still find them in the card aisles today, often just a simple white cards with gold lettering.

   The “thank you” I am referring to is not the one that you get at the store or maybe on the phone after you have just purchased something. Although forced, that “thank you is part of doing business and customer services. I am sure there are people who may have been relocated to the shipping department for not adhering to company policy with the obligatory 'thank you'. Have you ever shopped at a Wal Mart? 

   The “thank you” to which I am referring is the one that comes naturally after opening a door or picking up something for someone that has fallen to the floor. It is maybe exchanging places with someone in the checkout line because a mom or dad has three small children in tow or the number of items to be checked out by the person standing in line behind you is far less than your overloaded grocery cart filled with soda and chips.

   But today saying “thank you” or expressing thanks or gratitude to someone seems to have lost it's importance. It is something that is definitely not being taught and why should it when we have become a society of 'entitlement', a society of people who have come to believe... 'I deserve '. Why should I hold the door open for someone or help an elder person put their groceries in the trunk of their car? Would they do that for me?

   Four containers of vanilla ice cream fell off the freezer shelf and on to the floor. It's not a big deal to stop, pick them up and place it back on the shelf. “Oh, thank you young man”.

   Boy, I am doing well this week. One 'sonny' and one 'young man'. Better quit while I'm ahead.

   By the way, 'thanks' for reading my column this week.

Four different views of the world ...

    On Tuesday I had the opportunity to meet four  people I had never met before and while my interaction with them was job related, in each case what I took away from the meetings was a better understanding about people and what shapes their  view of the world. In part it is the result of their life experiences. That comes as no surprise, but the fact that their views differed so dramatically caught me a bit off guard, not that I believe  everyone sees the world exactly the same.

   (The names used in my blog are not their real names, but they  are very real people.)

   The day began with a meeting at a local college. The school is very environmentally 'in tune' and the survey that I am doing was of major interest to them. James was very cooperative and excited to participate.

   His message was clear. Unless we take the necessary steps to seek and implement new and in some cases not yet tested energy alternatives for the future, costs will continue to skyrocket and we will deplete much of what we currently use for energy sources.

   James believes it it not an issue of politics and if the government can help, that's great. It is not a Republican or Democrat issue. It involves all aspects of society and it is an issue that needs to be addressed now and in the future.

   He is extremely optimistic about the future and the work being done at the school and if the government can help, so be it.

   My next stop was what had once been a potato farm. The farm had seen better days and when I met Mahlon, I was not really sure what to expect. I had my preconceived expectations, just looking around. But as we walked and talked I was very surprised.

   As we walked through the building that had been one of his potato houses, now a work shop for his aged farm equipment, he was not an angry, old farmer but spoke about today’s young people and the hope for the future. He was someone, at least in my mind, who could have been very bitter, but I discovered that was not the case at all.

   About a quarter mile from the barn, Mahlon had taken several acres of his farm land and turned it into a softball field for the local high school. The school had not been able to complete the field near the school so he donated his time and his land and built a ball field for them.

   “I was never a good student in school,” he said, “and gave the teachers a pretty hard time. I finally did graduate and this is one way for me to thank them for their patience and perseverance to make sure I got out.”

   Mahlon's farm also served another purpose. Over the years, as some kids struggled with the academic side of schooling, they would often come down and work a bit on the farm, learning the importance of math and science and other related subjects in a much different type of school.

   Mahlon's commitment is not done yet. The school district recently received a land trust donation of a small farm next to the high school and Mahlon and several of his friends are helping to get the farm ready for the kids to use. One of the  projects will be to relocate an empty one room school house, on the other side of town, to the new site to become a classroom at the farm.

   “It's all about 'hands on' learning. It got me through school and maybe it will help some other kids too.”

   The third stop of the day set me back a bit. 
   I was looking for some information about a small church on a back country road and several in town suggested I speak with the person living in the house next to the church. While she may not have the information I needed, she might be able to direct me to those who did.

   Quickly I learned that I would receive no help from her. She believes that the government in Washington is nothing more than a bunch of liars and... "it was best that I leave now." I would get no information from her!

   What I discovered, as she continued to talk, however, was that her husband had been a soldier killed in Afghanistan several years before and that she still believes the people in Washington are lying to the American people about things that go on there and that she would  do nothing to help the country. My survey? “Just a way to collect more information to be used against us.”

   My final meeting of the day was with an 83 year old. Sarah is the president of a local historical society and director of the town's museum. Five minutes with her and it was impossible to not feel her joy for life. It was much different than what I had experienced just an hour before. Her passion...to provide a place where people can see and remember the past, through the pictures and displays on display at the museum.

   “I am 83 years old. Each day I am alive is a gift for me and if there is anything I can do to give back to my community, I will.” Her work at the historical society is one way she feels she can give back.

   Four very unique people with very differing views about life. Without a doubt, days like Tuesday helps keep life in perspective for me too.

Things you don't hear any more.....

Life has certainly changed over the decades and things that were said reflected the times and often the attitudes. It was very different back in the day...

• Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company later this afternoon
• Watch for the mailman, I want to get this letter in the mail today.
• Quit slamming that screen door! ( I missed this one so much I recently installed an old wooden screen door on the back door of the house and I slam it all the time,)
• Be sure to pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like it might rain -- and bring in the clothes off the line, too.
• Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed. (Don't you mean change the battery?)
• Wash your feet before you go to bed, (you've been playing barefooted outside all day). Now who still plays outside in their bare feet?
• Why can't you remember to roll up your pants legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain is tearing them up and I ain't made outta money.
• You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there ain't nothing left to put a patch on. No patch, no patch!!
• Don't you go outside with your school clothes on!
• Hang up your Sunday School clothes, you know you need to pass them down to your brother in good condition.
  
• Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle. I need it for baking and Pa's coffee.( I would bet there are many kids who have never seen cream at the top of a milk bottle, let alone a milk bottle made of glass.)
• Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one. See, returnables is not a new concept.
• Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it. (Someone still bakes?)
• Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him. ( No...... he is not your father...)
• You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it to get it started.
• There is a dollar in my purse, go by the service station and get five gallons of gas for the lawn mower. ( $.25 a gallon wasn't that long ago.)
• You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise. Maybe you will learn to be more careful with your bicycle or the car.
• Don't sit so close to the TV. It will ruin your eyes.
• Be sure and fill the lamps this morning with lamp oil so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.
• Here, take this old magazine to the outhouse when you go, we are almost out of paper out there. (OMG! I found a magazine in one of those ports-potties at the fair. You don't suppose it......??

• No! I don't have nine cents for you to go to the show, do you think money grows on trees?
• Oh! He's an honest politician. (?)
• Shut  your damn mouth! I don't want to hear anymore words like that. I will wash your mouth out with soap!
• Stop crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
• When you take your driving test don't forget your hand signals each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn, and left arm bent up to the sky at the elbow for a right turn and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to slow down or stop. ( and put the cell phone down!)
• It is "Yes, sir!" and "No, sir" to me and your elders young man, and don't you forget it.
• I'm sorry!
• And maybe my all time favorite.. if I hear you repeat one word of this to anyone I will ground you for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?!!
• Life was so much simpler then........;)
  
  
  Please feel free to add your own to the list in the comment box below.

Keep smiling...

   What do puppies, kittens and babies dressed in Santa pajamas have in common? They are just three of the  many things that make people smile. But for some, smiling doesn't come easily. Admittedly, on occasion I have been accused of not smiling or not smiling enough.Want proof?  Just look at some of my pictures.
   My guess is that many of us are not smiling when we take that first look into the mirror in the morning. Sometimes what is staring back may actually be very frightening. But it is that first smile that may be the one the sets the tone for the entire day so force if you can.. And the reason to force that smile? You're up, you're alive and it's a brand new day! Whatever happened yesterday is history and you have the opportunity to start all over again today.
   Would you prefer to buy a cup of coffee at the local shop from someone who greets you with a smile and a cheery “hello” or from someone who .......has a 'get it yourself' attitude.
   Now I know there are some physiological reasons why smiling is a good thing. It releases some kind of chemical in the body that is suppose to be good for you. I think it's called endorphins.  Smiling is suppose to boost your immune system, keeping you healthier. If smiling keeps negative people away, that may be 'living healthier' right there.
   I recently had my annual physical. The doctor asked me questions about my diet and exercise habits.
   “Do you smile a lot?” she asked. My initial response was going to be a wiseguy one...”only if I know that this office visit is covered by my medicare benefits.” But I thought I'd play it straight. “What's a lot?” I asked.
   People smile for all kinds of reasons. They smile when they know their children are safely home from school .They smile when they get an unexpected letter from an old friend. Some smile when the Red Sox have a three game sweep of the Yankees, but an 11-1 win isn't too bad either..
   Sometimes people smile as they share funny stories of the day at the dinner table. Just being able to sit down at the dinner table once and awhile as a family may be reason enough to smile.
   Successfully completing a difficult project at work can bring a smile, especially when the boss says "thank you" and you get the special parking spot for a week.....in the middle of a Maine winter.
   Smiling can be contagious and your smile and laughter may cause someone else to smile. Smiling may not only change your mood, but it may change the mood of a grumpy co-worker or your 'ugly' boss.
   Smiling is believed to relieve stress. Look at someone experiencing a stressful situation. All they need to do is turn that frown upside down into a smile ( now that's original!!). It may not solve all the problems, but at least its a move it in right direction.
   Sometimes I have trouble deciding what to wear in the morning. Maybe the only shirt I have left in the closet is one that does not highlight my deep blue eyes or my graying hair. (I know...what hair!) But if I put on a smile, maybe no one will notice what I am wearing. Smiling can make you feel attractive and when you feel attractive you possess the 'attraction factor.' WOW!
   There are times when it is really hard to smile. But here are a few steps you can take to make it a bit easier. Say “thank you” and watch the other person's reactions.Watch young children at play. Yes... pet a puppy, even if he may pee on your shoe. Spend time with positive people or consider sharing a funny story about yourself. Laughing at yourself can often bring on the widest smiles.
   The reality is that you may not wake up every day with a smile on your face. Sometimes you just need to 'fake it' and before long you begin believe it.
   And one more thing. If you are smiling, people might wonder what you've been up to!  :)

Grow where you're planted....

   It's the middle of a very wet  Spring. With lots of Spring rains, cool nights and gray days, the gardens are growing at a very slow pace this year.
   I like to garden. It gives me the opportunity to see Mother Nature at work. With tender loving care, a bit of Miracle Gro and some water, I can watch seeds sprout into  beautiful flowering plants that brighten the yard or grow fresh vegetables to feed the family throughout the late summer and into fall. A bit too much for one family to eat from the garden, the local food pantry is a great place to take the extras.
   My gardens are not very big and the soil is not the best, but each year I add top soil and compost to improve its quality. I dream about having a larger garden, maybe even a farm, with a tractor and plow, some animals and a farm pond. But to do that would mean I would have to move.
   If  I told you how many times I moved my family you would look at me and probably just shake your head. I have joked that... “it's hard to hit a moving object,” but looking back I may have justified all the moving because I was looking for the perfect place to settle in, the perfect place to grow and bloom.
   We appear to be a nation continually on the move; moving here, moving there, relocating here and then... there. We look for bigger homes, more land, less land, more bedrooms, houses with three bathroom or maybe no bathrooms, a patio, maybe a pool. The reasons to move are endless with  no excuse being to unique.
   Our nation's fascination with moving sparked an industry call 'real estate sales' and now we base the economic prosperity of the country on home and property sales. But the truth is that most Americans do not have the assets or resources to move and end up staying where they are for much of their lives.
   How often have you heard....”I wish I could get out of here. I can't stand this place. I need a town where I can be somebody.” Perhaps it's not the town. Maybe the one who feels the need to move should look within.
   In my  backyard is a large boulder that sits in the middle of a small hand-dug pond. The boulder has a crack in it..The crack is about 3 inches deep.. Over the years the crack has filled with dirt and who knows what else. Several years ago a  pine cone fell into the crack and a year or two later a small pine tree sprouted from the seed.The pine cone ended up there, not by choice, but by chance.  Despite heavy snows, rain, ice and wind, that tree is still growing and now stands over 14 inches high. If plants and seeds can grow in some unlikely circumstances, why can't humans do the same?
   There was a brief reunion of two friends in the grocery store the other day.. One complained about the desire  to move to a new town, maybe even out of state.
 . “I felt the same way once,” responded the other. “Then one day someone  shared some advice with me.”
   That statement caught my attention. I pretended to look through the cookies and crackers in order to eavesdrop!
   “If you want to make your life better, grow where you are planted.  I decided to became involved in the community, made new friends and directed my energy toward  things that I could control. It changed my entire attitude..”
   Interesting thought, very insightful....Grow where ever you are planted!
   My small gardens are getting better each year. It's hard work. But this time I'm not going to move. Like the pine tree and the boulder in the yard, I have decided  to “grow where I am planted too.”

Frozen in time!

   One of the things I have become increasingly aware of as I have gotten older is 'time'. I know that in each minute is sixty seconds, each day has twenty four hours and each year, 365 days, with an exception of once every four years. No one has any more or any less than anyone else. But the older I become the faster time seems to pass.

   Now somewhat retired, it is not that I have more or less to do. It is just that the things that pass the time each day are different. And of course I will throw in the occasional afternoon nap, not always a good use of time, but something that does happen once and a while.

   The passing of time often give cause for reflection, reflecting on the past and I would venture to say that my generation can reflect upon some of the biggest changes in centuries. We have seen men go to the moon, computers become an important part of everyday life and new discoveries that have only begun to shape the ever-changing world.

   But every once and awhile there is that special moment that seems almost 'frozen in time', raising the question...”Have things really changed that much?” I had one of those moments not too long ago and it haunts me just a bit.

   You know you have lived a long time when you begin to get invitations to attend and/or speak at events, especially those where buildings are being closed or torn down, the message being that they have outlived their usefulness. That was the situation for me recently.

   The school consolidation effort in Maine over the past several years has not gone well and many small towns and communities have lost their identity, the result of school closings. At the elementary level, it is difficult. But I believe that the closing of a high school can be even more traumatic. A history of local rivalries, the tales and stories of the big games.....become only memories and with the high school gone, will they be forgotten forever?

   Along the shores of the Androscoggin River in western Maine sit two small communities, once thriving because of the paper mills and the wood industry, but now only an empty shell of what they were. In those early years heroes were born, legends were made, and life was just about as exciting as it could get. Whether it be a Friday night football game in the fall, basketball in the winter or baseball in the spring, there was always great excitement and always something to do. And it was fun.

   But the mills shut down, old people grew older, and the young people moved away. The population and the area could not longer support what had once been...and it was time to do the unthinkable.

   As part of the transition and bringing a respectful closure to the high school, a group of students, who will be the last to attend the school, are putting together a video. They are asking retired teachers and administrators who worked their to share some of their thought and fondest memories while working at the school. I was honored to be asked to participate.

   MSAD 36 and Livermore Falls High School was my first school superintendency and looking back, I was really young, just a kid in the eyes of some. But it was a great experience and difficult not to become part of the great community and be included in some of the rich traditions. And yes, those Jay- Livermore Falls rivalries. Who can forget!

   As I stood at the end of the second floor hallway on this day, something I had done many times before, it was as if nothing had changed. It looked exactly the same. The lockers were the same, the colors were the same. The hallway sounded the same, the noise and chatter coming from the classrooms. It was as if I were 'frozen in time'. 
   I walked to the other end of the hallway and looked out the large floor to ceiling windows. The view from the second floor was still as I remembered it, the picturesque valley and the surrounding mountains. This time of the year the trees are  lush in springtime greens and sky a bright sun kissed blue.

   I have not seen the video, but one of the final final shots is of me standing by the front doors and after one final 'look 'down the hallway, I turn and leave the building, the doors closing behind me. It signals not only the ending of a period of school history, but also the beginning of a new era.

   As I walked the hallways that day, I was aware that more than twenty years had passed and yet, it seemed like only yesterday. But then, good memories are never forgotten, and even thought time may pass, memories last forever,

   It will be sad for the community as the doors of Livermore Falls High School close for the last time. But there are new adventures to enjoy and new memories to be made.