A beginner's guide to bidding at an auction......

   As many of you may know, and for those who do not, we have a small antique business where we buy, sell and sometimes trade. They might be old things, not so old things, or maybe even new. The intent is, of course, to make a bit of money. If we relied on our antiques to buy our food or put gas in the car, we would need to step into an entirely new category where buying and selling becomes a full time job. At this point in life that is too big a step, so we maintain a somewhat 'hobby status' which allows us to buy and sell things we like just for the 'fun of it' and of course, it's not a bad thing  to make a little profit too.

   Most of the items we purchase, we buy at auctions and the truth of the matter is that.... auctions and watching people at the auction is down right fun and entertaining. No yard sale shopping here. Boring! At the auction, things can get 'down and dirty' with each person having their own style on 'how and when to bid' or when to stick up their hand or card. The fun can be matching your style with the others in the room. And if you get it right, you can pick up some pretty good deals.

   For those just starting out I thought I might give a few pointers and suggestions based upon my vast amount of worldly experience, well maybe not that vast and maybe not that worldly!.

   Suggestion one. Get to the auction early and preview. Now you probably are thinking that I am talking about the items to be sold. Wrong. I am talking about previewing the others in the room. Watch their actions and behavior, their moves. Do they carry a pad and pencil. Are they watching you watching them? It is important and helpful to be able to spot the serious dealers in the crowd. Often those bidders will set the tone of the auction and the prices. When they buy food at the snack bar, do they pay with a $20?

   Number two. Seating or standing location are key to auction success. Where one stands or sits separates the players from the sight-seers. There are many theories about location. Depending upon the auction, I often like to sit near the front, near the auctioneer. That way he or she has a clear line of sight to me when I bid. If it is a new auction, I may hang out in near the back for a while. That way I can see who is bidding on what, who my competition might be and what the items of their interests are. And often, it is just easier to get to the snack bar. Some auctions have great food. Would you rather go to an auction that has freshly made donuts or ones dumped out of a cardboard box?

   Number three. There is a flow to an auction, usually dictated by the pace of the auctioneer. It is important, depending upon the type and style of bidder you are, to pick up on the speed, pace and verbal rhythm of the auctioneer quickly. There are some who move very slowly, trying to squeeze out every dollar for each item. Those auctions can go on for what seems like days. Others move right along and before you know it, the item is sold and you never even got the chance to  bid, And if the auctioneer is really fast, before long you are left sitting alone, eating your freshly cooked donuts, while everyone else has packed up their trucks and vans and are on their way home.

   Number four. Some auctioneers will give you a clue when they are about to 'sell' the item. “Going, once, going twice......sold' is a common refrain. But there are others who use a simple shout of “sold.” No warning. For 'sniper' bidders like myself, it is important to learn the style of the auctioneer so you can get that last bid. Practicing in front of a mirror may help.

   Number five. Whether you are the successful bidder on an item or not, never, never show emotion. Save your expressions of joy or sorrow (tears) when you get back in the car and are out of the parking lot. Emotions are a dead giveaway and could be used against you by the 'well seasoned' auction-goer and experienced bidder. As they say...”never let them see you cry!”

   Number six. Avoid direct eye contact with those bidding against you. It will ensure, even guarantee, that you will end up paying more than you had intended. And if you do make eye contact by mistake, just close your eyes and turn your head in the opposite direction.

   A key to successful purchasing at an auction is timing. There are several theories about when to jump in on the bidding, when to back off and when to snipe.

   (For those not familiar with the term, 'snipe bidding' is trying to sneak in at the very last possible milli-second, not allowing time for the others to bid.)

   Depending upon how important the item is to you, you may opt to not be the first bidder. It's called "psyching out" the opponent. That way you can determine who else in the room has interest in the same item. There are times I want to be the first bidder, especially if people are not paying attention. At least by being the first bidder, others may think they know that I am interested in bidding, or maybe I am just a decoy for the auctioneer to get the bidding started.

   The most difficult decision at the auction is to know when to get out. My suggestion is to set your upper limit on what you are willing to pay.... and then know that you will probably spend more, not that this has ever happened to me.

   It is easy to get sucked into the emotion and the fun of the auction, but when the auction is finally over and you've loaded up your truck with some great buys, what you really may have done is to make new friends, have a great deal of fun and maybe even take any leftover donuts home.
    Oh! One more. Number seven. Don't forget your checkbook! Happy bidding and see you at the auction!

Perfect…. Just Perfect

   As I sat down to prepare to write this week,  I again fought the urge to write about politics and the upcoming election or the weather. One would definitely have to admit  the weather the past several days in early October has been more summer-like than Fall and would make a great topic. I could write about leaves,  especially since most have now fallen from the trees into my yard. But I'll pass on both topics again this week 

   Each week, as I think about the subject matter for the  column, my hope is to make the selection of the topic 'perfect',  perfect for all the readers. The 'perfect column'!  But before I began to write what I might consider the 'perfect column', I needed to do a bit of homework, because the word ‘perfect’ is used  so frequently now I wanted to make sure I get it right.

     According to Webster’s New World Dictionary  the word perfect means ‘a state of excellence’ or ‘faultlessness’. Completely correct! One only needs to listen to the conversations going on around us to hear the word used with constant regularity.  The perfect dress, the perfect car or maybe the perfect restaurant. Does that mean that everything is 'faultless'? How often do we hear about the  perfect storm? Too much snow...or not enough snow?

      We have all hoped, at one time or another, for the perfect date. Every bride and groom dreams of the perfect wedding. We search endlessly for the fast food restaurant chain that will serve us the perfect hamburger. For me it was always White Castle.

     The coach who wants his team to win the championship game encourages his players to play the perfect game or how about the conductor of the orchestra directing the musician with the wave of the baton, encouraging them to play the perfect concerto.

     Sales people are taught to use the word ‘perfect’ as many times as possible. If I remember from my training, I think it was five times in five minutes “That suit is perfect for you. It matches your eyes.” 
   "I don’t want a suit to match my eyes. I want a suit to  fit properly! “Oh. This tie is a perfect match too.” Is it a perfect match to the suit, my eyes or my credit card?

     Car sales people always have the perfect car for you. How do they know what's perfect?  “This new minivan would be perfect for you,the sales person says,  sizing up the young woman to be a soccer mom. Actually,  she had her eye on the little red convertible. OK. So she is a   'hot' soccer mom.

    We all want are children to grow up to be perfect. Do perfect parents ensure perfect children or is it the other way around? 
    Maybe you have heard someone say, “She is the perfect candidate to run for office in the upcoming election.” What makes her perfect? Maybe she knows the right people or has lots of money!  (Sorry. I was going to stay away from politics.)

    We have all heard of the perfect fool or the perfect stranger. How about the perfect novel or movie. We search for the perfect gift for that special (perfect) friend. Chocolate  works for me!

    Recently I overheard two friends talking. One was planning a party for her sister and her new boy friend. She wanted to make sure that everything was……you guessed it,  perfect! With that kind of expectation there are bound to be problems.

     I think I have figured out this word ‘perfect,’ however. For something to be perfect, it must be measured against a standard of some kind. That standard can be real or it can be imaginary, like a picture in your mind.

     I knew a coach who taught his player to swing a baseball bat with their eyes closed. "Picture in your mind the baseball racing toward home plate and just as it crosses the plate, swing the bat, sending the ball over the outfield fence." Basketball coaches often do the same for practicing foul shots. It's amazing, but I have never missed an imaginary foul shot in my life!   :)

   So for my readers and friends, I bring this  ‘perfect column’ to a conclusion and I hope you all have the perfect week.

Things that go bump in the night and other scary moments...................

   I made a conscious decision not to write about the upcoming elections, although this year there could be a great deal to write about, at least  in Maine. I considered some thoughts about the holidays, maybe Halloween, but that might be for another time.

  The other night, as the rain quietly descended upon Pittsfield and the surrounding area, I was startled out of a deep sleep with a loud 'bump'. I know there are children's stories about things that go 'bump in the night', designed to generate nightmares in childhood dreams. Could it be something hiding under the bed? 
   It is funny how darkness often causes us to be somewhat more fearful, probably because it is difficult for most of us to see in the dark. But think about lying awake in bed and imaging all those creatures crawling on the ceiling, the walls and the floor,,, and now crawling all over my arms and legs. And those two little eyes staring at me from the corner of the room? I hope they belong to the dog.

   Not too often, I will wake up in the middle of the night either because the dog jumped on the bed, some squirrel raced across the roof or a tree branch brushed against the house because of the wind. At that time, in a semi-sleep state, the mind races. What just happened? But as I lay quietly trying to get back to sleep, I begin to count sheep or try to solve all the problems that didn't get solved the day before, or anticipate the events of tomorrow and before long, if I'm lucky, I drop off back to sleep. 
   Then in what seems to be only a few short minutes the alarm announces  the beginning of another day. Waking, I have little recollection of what I thought about in those sleepless moments. Had I solved the problems of the world? If I did, why didn't I write them down for future reference.

   I don't necessarily believe in spirits or things that move about us from the past, although there have been times when it felt that I was not alone the room. Just look at poor Bob Marley in the 'Christmas Carol.' Those spirits certainly did keep him busy for a while. But the lessons he learned. Wow! And Christmas is right around the corner. Maybe there is hope for me!

     The mind works in mysterious ways and whether you call it a 'bump in the night' or an 'ah-ha' moment (a daylight version of a bump in the night), there is a time we come to an 'awareness' of something we have struggled to remember or in some cases, have tried to forget. How often, at the most unsuspecting moment, have we remembered where we put something or have finally remembered someone's name, perhaps at three o'clock in the morning

   Now I am sure there is someone out there reading this blog and saying....”yep, he's lost it this time, again! Too many bumps in the night for him, perhaps from falling out of bed. But with so much going on in the world, there are bound to be things that get tucked away in one of those little crevices in the brain and when you least expect it, out they pop, like the name of your first real date ( other than taking you cousin to the prom) or where you put the extra set of car keys. In many cases, the things we suddenly remember are not that important, but still it is interesting to see how the mind works.

   Those sleepless moments in the middle of the night can be very frustrating though. Why now, keeping me awake, as I fight to get back to sleep. I do need get my beauty sleep!
   But just to make sure, let me check under the bed just one more time.

Do- Si- Do.........

   Definition: Do-Si-Do (sometimes spelled dosado) A dance step where two dancers, face to face, advance and pass right shoulder to right shoulder and without turning, each dancer moves to the right, passing the other back to back, then move backwards, passing each other with the left shoulders and returning to the starting position.

   It was a beautiful mid-September Saturday evening. Some friends had opened their recently restored barn for an evening of square dancing. Square dancing? Family and friends had been invited to spend a bit of time together and while there were some people in the crowd who were acquainted with each other at some level, for  most, it was a group of strangers, just spending some time together.
   Ages in the group ranged from some school age kids all the way up to those my age and beyond, people who actually remembered what square dancing really was, probably from gym class in school. No 'rap' music here, although I suppose if you allowed your mind to wander, the dance caller might be considered a rapper......Ever hear a 'rapper' with a thick New England accent?

   The evening began with a pot luck supper. As is often the case, there was enough food to feed a group twice the size, maybe even half the population of Maine. The mixture of smells and tastes was enough to please anyone's  palate. My favorite..... the fresh vegetable dishes. After all, it is harvest time and what better way to share the harvest than with friends at an old fashioned Saturday night get together.

   Tucked away in the corner were several tables piled high with desserts and other sweets. But the desserts would wait until later. It was now time to dance.

   Within a few minutes after eating, the floor was cleared, the square dance caller set up his equipment and we were ready to go. 
   In the beginning it reminded me of the first junior high school dance. Everyone stuck close to the wall, not wanting to be the first on to the dance floor. But most of us were adults and no need to be coy at this age. And with a bit of encouragement from the 'caller' the center of the barn was filled with giggly, chatty groups ready for the challenge.

    Now I use the word 'challenge' because for most of us in the room, unless they were currently members of a local square dance group, and there are some in the area, for the most of us, the last time we square danced was probably in physical education in high school. But the square dance caller was very patient and after a review of some of the key moves and terms, it was almost like riding a bicycle, except most of us moved across the floor a lot slower than we did in high school. Age does have a way of slowing one down a bit.

   Let's see......circle to the left, then back to the right, face your partner and so-si-do, allemande left and promenade right, get back home and do it again! It brought back memories of yesterday. It was the only time the boys and girls gym classes ever met together each year. Hold her hand! Are you kidding me.

   Even the younger ones in attendance this night managed to put aside their cell phone for a few minutes and join in the fun. I can only imagine the text messages that followed to their friends. “You'll never guess what I just did.” Better yet...”You'll never guess what my parents just did!”

   As the evening progressed and the dancing continued, the conversations and laughing got louder and people seemed to have a really good time. Remember, this was a group of people that, for the most part, did not know each other before this evening and while they might pass each other unknowingly in the aisles of the local grocery store, that would  have been the extent of any social interaction. But tonight was different.

    The evening turned out to be a huge success. Good food, good dancing, new friends, and the cell phones were set aside for a few minutes. Kind of sounds like the “old days,” no cell phones in the old days, when people would get together on a Saturday night at the local grange, a school gym or at someone's barn, kick out the cows and horses for a few hours and have some good 'down home' fun. It's what happened in small towns and communities across the country many years ago. It's how friends and neighbors got to know each other just a little bit better with a do-si-do and an allemande left.

   Unfortunately those days are probably long gone. But for those of us with a bit a gray hair and some distant memories of the Saturday night social, this particular night brought back some memories of a simpler life.
   And those other distant memories of square dancing in gym class? Holding hands with that special girl from period three gym class didn't turn out too bad either!!   :)  

The real sight was much better than the picture, the rich deep blue sky behind the brightly colored leaves. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Creatures of habit, or just a creature.....

   The early morning sun streamed into the bedroom. It was time to get up. I glanced at the clock. OMG! I had overslept. Before my day even got started I was now running about thirty minutes behind schedule. What schedule? I'm retired. Panic, fear and a sense 'what to do next' gripped my body. How could I have overslept. I always get up at the same time each day. I have for years, with maybe one or two exceptions. It's funny how a slight change in schedule or routine can effect the rest of the day, maybe even life. For sure, we are 'creatures of habit.'

   Take, for example, the car keys. I always turn off the car engine, remove the keys from the ignition and drop them into the ash tray.(Now everyone knows where they can find my car keys, even the crooks.) It is a habit  I have done for years. It just makes it easier to know where they are if someone needs to use the car, especially if one  is in a hurry, although, admittedly, I probably would not do this in a big city.

   But on this particular day I put the keys in my suit jacket pocket, came inside and, who knows why, I hung up my jacket in the closet.    First, rarely is that the first thing I do upon entering the house. Eventually my jacket does make its way to the  closet, but usually not the first thing upon arriving home. That's what the chair just inside the door is for.

    Second, I had no memory of putting the keys in my packet. You guessed it. When it came time to go to the store, do you think I could remember what I had done with the keys? OK Lucky. What did you do with the car keys? I know you want to go to the park.

   After a somewhat frantic search I remembered I 'may have' put them in my jacket pocket and sure enough, there they were, along with a few receipts from the hardware store and a handful of dog treats. Most of my pockets now have bits and pieces of dog biscuits these days.

   For me, everything has its place, especially my tools. It was a lesson I learned many years ago from an eccentric boss I worked for, actually he was a fanatic. 

   (Just an aside, he would  wear a dress shirt only once. Yes, once. The workshop was litter with boxes of new, unopened dress shirts, blue ones, white ones, stripes and solids. After it was worn it got tossed in the garbage. Too bad we were not the same size.)

    But his message about tools? If you put the tool back where you found it, you'll know where to look for it the next time you needed it. Makes sense. It took a while to learn. I was a scatter-brained college kid at the time,  but it was a practice (habit) I continue, even to this day...well almost all the time.

   One might think that with all the tools I have accumulated over the years I would have no trouble finding a Phillips head screwdriver when I needed it or a pair of needle nose pliers.  

   “Lucky, did you borrow those pliers again. How many times have I told you to put them back after you use them. “

   "What's that? You didn't use them? OK! It must have been the neighbor then. Sorry."

   It amazes me how accustomed we become to our routines and how often we don't even realize it. I usually put  my right sock on first, then my left. If I do it the other way, left first, it just doesn't feel right and I end up taking them off and starting over. And I always put my pants on after I have my socks on. That way I won't wrinkle the bottom of my pant legs. Sounds logical anyhow!

   By now you are probably saying to yourself....."My goodness... he has slipped off the deep end.” There are many who may agree that happened years ago. But I challenge you to take a look at some of the unique things you do.

   In the kitchen, at breakfast time, the first thing I do after turning on the television to catch the early morning news,  is  make the coffee. If the paper boy (person) arrives or the dog needs to go out or I get distracted by something being reported on the morning news, it changes my entire routine and I end up having to wait an extra five minutes for my morning jolt of 'wake up'... my slightly pumpkin flavored  coffee. It's got to be pumpkin this time of year.

   On this particular morning I was distracted by a story on the  news about one of our local politicians and something he may have said or done. Can't these guys wait until after I have had my morning coffee before doing something stupid?

   Humans are not the only ones on the planet who are creatures of habit. Lucky has his favorite toy for certain times of the day, knows exactly when it is 5:00 PM,  dinner time  and.... what's this turning around and around in a circle before lying down on his bed. If I did that before going to bed, I'd probably end up sleeping in the car, after finding the car keys.

   Being a 'creature of habit', following certain routines each day, is probably not a bad things. It does put a bit of order into one's life and it may offer clues about how someone might act or react in routine and normal situations.

 So I was a few minutes late today. So what! It's not as if the world was expecting me at a certain place at a certain time. Well almost no one. Thank goodness for cell phones. A quick call to the person who cuts and styles my hair, telling her I was running a bit late and.... all is good. 

If you thought this past summer was great.....

   If you thought this past summer was great, just wait until this Fall. Sure, the warm sunny days, high humidity lasting for what often seemed like weeks, the almost daily afternoon showers were all part of this year's summer. But the warm temperatures and frequent showers keep the vegetables growing and the flowers blooming and this year produced a bumper crop of cucumbers, tomatoes and various herbs. I like growing herbs the most. They're easy.

   Of the four seasons of the year, five if you count “mud season,” I have always liked Fall the best. But I really enjoyed the past summer season  and I am not sure if this Fall can match the sunny blue skies, reasonable temperatures and until the last few weeks, the lack of mosquitoes. But if I had any doubts, what happened this week would eliminate any question or concerns about the upcoming season and provide a perspective I had not expected.

  I am back working again, on a part time basis for just a few weeks, until the snow flies. It is a job that brings me in contact with many different people, with many different life experiences. My job is to sit down with them for about forty five minutes to complete a survey. Wow. A survey. Confidentially prevents me from going into more detail about the type of survey, but...

   This past week I had the opportunity to call upon.... let's call him Bud. (That's not his real name.) I pulled into the driveway and Bud was out washing the dust and dirt off his car. He and his wife had just returned from a camping trip.

   I introduced myself, told him what I was doing, how he had been selected to be part of the survey and... he agreed to  spend the next forty five or so minutes with me. I admit that it brought a smile to my face. Not everyone is that agreeable or willing. After all, it is voluntary and it is a survey!

   The survey went well and as we began to wrap things up, he said to me....” It's a good thing you caught me now.”

  I must have looked a bit puzzled. He continued....” The doctors have told me I may have only six months to a year to live. I have a stage four cancer. If you were to come back next Spring I might not be here.”

   Bud is only fifty two years old and has been battling cancer for several years. Along with his wife and family he is traveling to Boston every three weeks for treatment, but the cancer has taken a turn, not responding to the treatment any more and is worsening.

   We continued to talk for a while and what was difficult for me to understand was how positive he remained, about life, about the treatment he was receiving and the people around him, including has doctors and nurses at the cancer center. Truthfully, I'm not sure how I would react to such news.

   He spoke of camping, and working in the garden, of washing his cars, of the smell of the smoke of a wood fire from the chimney next door and the upcoming holidays. And his favorite time of the year...Fall.

   In a somewhat clumsy way I asked him how he was able to remain so positive. His response...”Sure, I could curl up in a chair or never get out of bed each day and feel really sorry for myself. But what would that accomplish? There is too much to enjoy regardless of how long I live and I want to take advantage of every minute.”

   We shook hands, I wished him the best and I started my drive back home. This 'chance' meeting had given me a bit more to think about than I had expected.

   I decided to skip the highway ride back home and stuck to the back roads with less traffic. The trees that lined either side of the road were now changing color and the bright sun added to their beauty. But my mind continued to replay my conversation with Bud and I questioned if I would be able to remain as positive as he was if facing a similar situation. What had started out as simple work assignment this day had ended up to be a great deal more.. at least for me. This would be a 'meeting' I would not soon  forget.

   Yes, I like the Fall season. I like to bite into a freshly picked apple, or pick the few remaining vegetables in the garden before the first frost, smell the smoke of a freshly lit wood fire in the fire place. But now I can add one other memory to that list, Bud, and his positive attitude about life. “There's too much to enjoy regardless of how long you live and I want to take advantage of every minute.” 

Want to be heard? Speak up......

   As I continue to enter a new phase of  life along with many other 'baby boomers',  I must admit  the way I had pictured retirement and planned for it may  not be the way it will turn out. Naively, my view of retirement and the senior years was modeled somewhat after the retirement of my parents and grandparents and what we hear and see on television. But times have changed and so the definition of retirement.
   At some magical age, after  years of working a "regular" job",  you would stop going to the office or where ever you worked every day, get a check from Social Security or a state pension program and, supplemented with a bit of savings, live life comfortably. You could sleep late in the morning because you stayed up late to watch Jimmy Fallon, hang out at the local Tim Horton with all your 'buds', supervise the grandchildren as they splash around in the pool...(doesn't every grandparent have a pool) or catch up on reading all those books and magazines you never had time to read while you were working.
   I didn't anticipate the millions and millions of dollars still being spent daily defending the 'freedom' of people in countries half way around the world whose only view of the United States is what they are told by their political leaders or see on television, if they have a television at all. (Bet they have cell phones though!) Could some of those dollars be better spent at home, used in search for a cure for cancer or ALS or Alzheimer's?
   Now, I understand the concept of a 'global economy' and the importance of people working together to make the world a better place for everyone to live. But one only needs to watch the news or read the paper to discover that not every country or  world leader really cares about a cure for cancer or other potentially deadly disease.They just let the people join  radical groups and die. Senior years planning? If terrorist  around the world are decapitating anyone, American or not, is it a sign of a world spinning out of control?
   I had expected  when the 'boomers' started to retire there would be a transition of power and decision-making to a younger generation, a generation filled with enthusiasm and enlightenment, having learned from the mistakes of those who had come before them and understanding  the world would be a different place. They would know that in the not too distant future, they too  would be 'old' with dreams of a comfortable life in retirement. (Definition of old? Fifteen years older than your current age.  :))
   By the time I retired I figured there would be medical advancements that might cure cancer, new technology that would decrease our dependency on foreign oil and gas, or not need gasoline at all, and have clean air and water for a healthier life. The good news is that we are slowly making strides in those directions. The bad news is .....it's still politics as usual when it comes to change and priorities. We just can't seem to get out of our own way to insure success and move forward.
   I had not anticipated the arguing and bickering taking place within our own government among the political factions that now requires a need for a new level of credibility and honesty from elected officials. Power, in the wrong hands has always corrupted. But how many politicians in the past year or so have been accused of abuse of power and corruption and have  legally been charged? If it's more than one, it's one too many. Greed!
    And as today's  federal, state and local officials debate the financial shortcomings of their inability to live within their means or the perception of an ever increasing roll of government in our everyday life, why would someone not expect the public to respond with renewed activism and involvement, especially as the aging population gets larger and lives longer.
   We hold elections to select those we believe will represent us best, not who can raise the most money for his or her 'campaign war chest'. (Did you know they get to keep some of the money  they raise if they  don't spend it all?) Is this the funding of a new American democracy? (Oh.....I forgot. Election day just around the corner.)
   Instead of sitting at home and allowing things to get done to us, perhaps we need to make sure  those who represent us remember what it's like back in the home and what it will be like in the future. They need to hear from those who elected them and they need to listen to all the different perspectives and point of view.
   Think about it....fewer  babies are being born and the population continues to live longer and the average age of a typical person is increasing, like Maine.   Maybe it's time to  “speak up and be heard”. Perhaps this is the 'new politics' for those entering the “golden years.” We had the Million Man  March on Washington a number of years ago. What about a 'Golden Years Rally' in every city and state across the nation. Isn't it time to find out who's listening!!!!