Decking the halls and other festive “stuff”........

   I was going to write about the month of December, the last month of the year and share a bit of research, like... it is the first full month of the meteorological winter in the northern hemisphere and the month of December always begins on the same day of the week as September and ends on the same day of the week as April. Fascinating!

   Actually what I did find somewhat interesting was that December is Latin for the word 'decem', meaning ten and during the days of the Roman calendar, there were only ten months in a year, the first month being March and the last month being December. And those long winter days following December until March were not part of any month. Makes sense to me.

   But as I continued to research the history and events of December, I kept looking at the Christmas decorations piled up in the den and decided it was time to get to work and turn the house into a holiday wonderland....or something close to it.

   Over the years we have collected a variety of decorations and ornaments, many symbolic of family fun times and memories. A number of the ornaments on the tree each year were made by our children and grandchildren, or were purchased on different trips and vacations as mementos, cheaper than a tee shirt.

   There are still some decorations that were purchased many year ago at the local Ames Department Store. Any one remember Ames's?

   Glass, plastic, cloth or some other strange composite materials, when finished, the tree is a kaleidoscope of lights and color and represents a trip through our family history.

   And just for the record, until a few years ago we would always get a freshly cut tree from the local tree farm. Four years ago we decided to purchase an artificial tree. It was a difficult break from tradition, but it has turned out to be a lot easier and cleaner and we don't have to worry about picking out that perfect tree any more or be continually vacuuming up the needles off the floor. The artificial tree looks really nice. And about the fresh pine smell, those new plug in air fresheners make it smell almost real.

   Over the years we have managed to collect many different makes, models and sizes of Santas. Some are quite old, yes antique, and each year there seems to be at least one or two new ones added to the ever increasing collection.

   My wife has made a number of Santas, modeling them from pictures on Christmas cards and holiday post cards and coupled with the others, the store bought and the ones we have received as gifts, I would estimate there to be about 150 different styles, shapes and sizes. With artificial greens and trees, the house takes on the look of a Santa's village and workshop. Now if I can just find an elf or two to help.

   Christmas is also known as the 'holiday of lights' and both inside and out the house lights up each night with a rainbow of colors. In recent years I have been wrapping the trunks of the trees in the yard with stings of colored light. That's the back yard. That's for the benefit of the wild life that passes through our yard.

   The front yard is a bit more subdued with white candle lights in each window and, for the first time this year, a wreath on the front door that lights up. What will they think of next.

   About four hours into the holiday decorating and I have barely opened half of the Tupperware containers. Over the years I have found it safer to stash the Christmas decorations in the plastic containers. First, it keeps the squirrels and mice from eating and destroying them. Second, if I keep the containers in one central location, like my garage storage area, and write the contents on the outside of the container, it provides for a bit more organization, both putting them out for display and packing them up at the end of the season. What did we do before plastic?

   It's about two thirds done now and it's time to take a break. The fire is going in the pellet stove, the late afternoon light has given way to darkness and the eggnog is ready for a bit of reinforcement. I wonder who ever discovered that eggnog and brandy go really well together?

   But finally, with the last Santa Claus in place, the final reindeer attached to one of the many sleighs, and the few remaining little pine trees grouped together, made to look like the Northwoods of Maine, it's time to flip the switch. With the last sip of eggnog and the flip of the switch, our once 'common place' living area is instantly transformed into  a bright and colorful array of 'things' Christmas, past and present. It took some extra time this year, perhaps because of the eggnog, but this year may be the best year yet, although I probably say that every year.
    So, it's one more glass of eggnog and time to relax in front of the fire. But first, what do I do with all these empty Tupperware containers?

                                     

  Who said all Santas have to wear red!

The Myth of Self.......

   Myth: any imaginary person or thing spoken as though existing. (Webster's New World Dictionary)

   Like many others, each day I usually glance at myself in a mirror, generally right after getting up each morning. On a short term basis I look pretty much the same day after day. Maybe I need a shave or to get a trim at the barber shop, but for the most part the image I see is  much the same face, the same person I saw the day before.

   On a longer term basis, however, my appearance has changed quite drastically and perhaps my self image as well. Gray hair, what is left of it, wrinkles and skin that has aged over time due to exposure to the sun, wind, rain and to life in general has transformed a once younger looking me into someone who looks like my father or maybe even ...my grandfather. Who is that person staring back at me in the mirror?

   We all have an image of how we see our self, or want to see our self, but the reality may be that if this is truly who we believe we are, how we see our self reflected back to us in the mirror, is it only a myth, a myth based solely on appearance or is it deception? Does it really reflect the person  we are?

   I am scheduled to meet someone at the airport as we will be traveling together to a meeting. When asked what I look like, to help locate me in the airport, I described myself as tall, dark and handsome. But the face staring back at me in the morning mirror is far from that image. I chuckled... and passed the comment off as wishful thinking and a smart-xxx remark. But I can always dream.

   We all have a picture of 'self' in our mind, the person we think we are. We force and reinforce that self image and perception by how we act, how we dress, perhaps by the job we have or the car we drive. We project that image by where we live or would like to live. Perhaps it is the type or style of house we live in, the furniture we sit on or the size of the outdoor barbecue grill we have when we entertain guests.

   I graduated from high school in 1964, making this year the 50^th class reunion. As with previous reunions, I did not attend. In the past, it was difficult to go because of work and family obligations. It is a long way to New Jersey. You know all the excuses as well as I do. This year though, now being retired, would have provided me with the time and opportunity, but I opted to stay home. If I didn't go to previous reunions, why go now?

   Being from a crowded northern Jersey community, the class was rather large, well into the 600-675 student range if I remember correctly. With a class that large it was difficult to know everyone. We all, or at least most of us, had our circle of friends back then. And then came graduation , college and stepping out into real life. The high school days quickly became a distant memory, except for the day Jerry Nardelly's sports car burst into flames in the student parking lot. Forgot to put out that cigarette didn't you Jerry 

   Back in high school, I was pretty active in school activities and saw myself as popular with my friends. But was that popularity all a 'myth of self?' Was I pretending to be someone I really was not?

   Several who organized the reunion have been posting pictures in a “reunion album”. Most attending the reunion looked ….......looked exactly like the reflection staring back at me in the mirror, people in their late 60's, gray hair, no hair, wrinkles, glasses and dressed to make themselves look much younger. Looking at the pictures I didn't recognize any one. Would they have recognized me? Perhaps that was the reason I didn't attend!

   I think there are two parts of knowing who you are, of knowing 'self'. First, there is the image that you have of yourself, the one you see in the mirror every day. But  there is the other part, that being how others, those you interact with each day, see you.

   In your mind you may see yourself as kind, gentle, patient, understanding, helpful, expressing concern for others, when in reality your behavior and daily activities express a much different message.

   For example. you may think of yourself as being an advocate for the poor, the homeless, those who struggle in life, when in reality what you do is not really for those you think you are helping, but only as a means to reinforce your own 'self.' Golly! I am a really wonderful person.

   To get a true and more accurate picture of who you are, of 'self', perhaps you have to look beyond the mirror. Yes, the shirt and tie may look great together, but all that really says is  you can match colors well. Will a nice shirt and tie have any effect on how you interact with the people around you? It says very little about 'character.'

   Perhaps we are not really who we think we are. In our own mind are we just a 'myth?'

An American dream.........

   As I take a few minutes to write this week's post  I am about ready to return home from a trip to the 'heart' of the American Revolution..... Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown in Virginia. I know Boston factors into the mix too, but for me there is something very special about this area. Where else can you walk and talk with George Washington, Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson and other great American patriots to get a real sense of what was taking place in the late 1700's. The area and activities in Williamsburg are filled with history and if you are really quiet, you can almost hear some of the original discussions and debates.
   Walking up and down Duke of Gloucester Street, it is easy for one, or at least me, to be transported back in time. People dressed in original garb race back and forth between the shops and homes. They almost seem real. Life in early America must have been very difficult for many who ventured into the new world. But with the dreams and hopes of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" for future generations, the reward for living through difficult times far out-weighed the risks.( In one of the final edits, Thomas Jefferson replaced the word 'property' with 'happiness'.)
   I especially like to listen to those who assume the roles of many of this country's 'founding fathers' as they discuss the times and events leading up to and following  the fight for independence. Those who assume these character roles have studied and done their homework as they get to know each person. I can only assume it has changed their lives as well and given a deeper understanding of who these patriots were and what they believed.
    But as you listen to them speak and if you close your eyes and open your mind, you might have a difficult time separating the issues and concerns in 1773 from those in 2014. Regardless of who you listen to or what they believed, the concern and message was the same. They wanted  to create a "government, granted by the people and for the people......."a government  that allowed for open debate and discussion.
   It is true that in those early years there were many living in the new world who were not represented, nor would they be for many years, the Africans, women, non-land owners to mention a few. But those who helped build this new country knew they were not creating a nation for themselves. Most would not live long enough to see the successes and failures of this 'grand democracy'. They knew they were building a nation and a government for the future, one that would be able to grow and adjust as the times and needs of society changed. They knew that kings or queens, dictators or tyrants would not serve the future well. History had proven that. No one would ever be free when being ruled by a dictator or tyrant and even today one only needs to look around the world  to understand their foresight and wisdom.
   These times were not easy for anyone. But as you listen to those who assume the characters and the roles and, if they are to be believed, you cannot overlook the fact that these great men and leaders all had times of personal struggle as they searched within themselves to do what was best for the people of this new nation.
  The car is packed and it's time to head back home. This is my fourth or fifth trip to the Williamsburg area and there is always something new to see and learn. We'll be back in the Spring to see more, to learn more.
   Regardless of where you visit in the Historic Triangle, or how many times you visit, there are always reminders of where we, as a nation, have been and maybe where we should be headed.
   As we dined with some friends on the final evening at what may become one of our favorite restaurants. we noticed  the walls were covered with famous quotes and pictures.  As I took my seat and looked at the wall across from me I could not help but notice this quote and wondered if this could be the new American Dream? 

                                   "Resolve to be tender with the young,
                                    compassionate with the old.
                                    sympathetic with the striving
                                    and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
                                    Sometime in life we will have been all of these."
                                                                                 Anonymous


  

I am really going to miss all those signs..........

   I am really going to miss those campaign signs along the side of the road now that the election is over. They added such color to the scenery and lots of distraction to my driving.... all for expressing the true spirit of democracy in  local towns and cities. In reality, the signs represent the new democratic process, the election process where money can and can not influence  voting. I have no idea how much each candidate in our state spent in this year's election, nor do I really want to know.The figure would be scary.  I  expect the amounts would be staggering. I can only imagine how some of those dollars might have been used toward  some worthy local cause or  a local food pantry.

   I am really going to miss the daily phone calls, especially the ones around dinner time. Do these people ever eat? Have you tried to ask a question or ask to be placed on a 'do not call list.' The voice on the other end just keeps talking. Oh! Wait! Those are automated calls. There is really no one on the other end of the line, it's just a recording. I especially like the ones where the recording is obviously done by someone 'from away.' Can't the candidates at least find a person with a bit of a New England accent instead of someone from Alabama or Georgia, or from over seas, a person who knows where Maine is on the map?
   Just as aside, the night before the election two calls came to the house, all recorded in French. Now I know my last name can have a French twist, but.... come on folks. French! 

   I am really going to miss going to my mailbox to collect the piles of print advertising  deposited each day. Toward the end of the campaign it seemed as though I was getting two or three pieces of the same material from the same candidate on the same day. They must have had some leftovers. Now the only pieces of mail in my mailbox are the monthly bills and the Christmas catalogs, lots of them. Ah...transitions!

   I am going to miss people banging on my door, again usually around meal time, asking me to vote for the candidate they represent. I  never did see an actual candidate. If they really want my support, it might help if they didn't come around at lunch or dinner time. If they really want my support, they could pick up the extra rake and help me rake the leaves for a few minutes or help to shovel the snow from the early winter storm.

   What I will miss the most, however, are the endless number of ads on television and in the newspapers. If there is that much commercial time available, perhaps the television producers could see to add a few extra minutes to the actual show. It would be great to have a few extra minutes of "The Blacklist" or "How To Get Away With Murder" instead of the candidates berating each other in what was suppose to be their negative-free campaigning. But, silly me. (Speaking of how to get away with murder....)

   One does not need to be an expert in political affairs to know this may go down as one of the most expensive campaign seasons ever in Maine. One does not need to be an expert to know that the real winners in this election or any recent election for that matter are the advertising agencies, the printers and media specialists and the consultants hired by the candidates for their political party. Whether a candidate wins or loses, they still get paid and depending upon their success, a win  might insure future work for the next election.

   While both political parties and  candidates, along with a few independents, talk of improving the economy and job creation, it seems the biggest job creator is the American political system itself, with its skyrocketing cost and what now seems like an endless campaign cycle. Already, with election day only a few days behind us, many are already getting ready for 2016.
   Can we just get through the holiday advertising season first!!!!!
   

There must be an 'app' for that.....

  I rounded the corner of the bread aisle at my favorite local food store. Two ladies, and I will assume they were mothers, were talking.

   “My son has been called to the office three times this week for misbehavior in class. I don't know what's going on. This year he has been terrible.”

   The other mom listened with interest and then responded. “ My son was suspended from school last week for two days. He was accused of swearing at the teacher. When I asked him about it, all he said was that she deserved it. I don't know what to do.”

   The first mom continued to express her frustration. “I just don't know what's happening. He has always been a good student and very well behaved. I guess I need some help. Maybe there's a app for that!”

   I quickly turned my head to see the two mothers, cell phones in hand, trying to find an 'app' about .........adolescent boys and their bad behavior? Look it up under “it's the father's fault”. I quickly put two loaves of bread in my shopping cart and moved on. Was there really an 'app' for that?

   I have several home repair and upgrade projects going on  right now that require some fresh paint. At the paint store, I found the color I wanted, but before the sales person mixed the paint to get 'just the right color' he asked me if it was new wood I would be painting and if so, had I primed it or would I be needing paint that already had the primer as part of the mixture. He must have picked up on the expression on my face.

   “Which method is better?” I asked.

   “I'm not really sure,” was his response. He was young. “Let me look it up. There must be an 'app' for that.” Within minutes we had the answer.

   I currently have this crazy little job for a few weeks that requires some driving and with the price of gasoline fluctuating all over the place, I try to find the best buy at the best price. Yes, there is an 'app' for that. The question is ….do I drive 7 miles out of my way to save a penny or two, wasting gas on the extra miles just to save a few cents at the pump? There must be an 'app' for that too!

   As I look back, to the days before cell phone and computers, I wonder how we made any decisions at all. Don't get me wrong. I like having the ability to seek out any and almost all information by typing in a word or phrase, finding an app or just asking Siri. She must be really smart. But I do sometimes miss the challenge of researching a topic on my own.

   Siri....who should I vote for in the election on Tuesday? And her response? “I don't know who is running. You may want to check out the ads on your local cable TV channel.”

   Several weeks ago there was a box of books that were going up for auction. It was an 'almost' complete set of an encyclopedia. I think it was missing volume “M”. Am I the only one who remembers World Book or Britannica? How about the Book of Knowledge?

   I actually remember purchasing my first set of encyclopedias. The color of the cover was blue with gold letters down the spine, spelling out WORLD BOOK ENCYCLOPEDIA. For and extra amount of money, one could also purchase a book shelf, designed to proudly display all the knowledge that was known at the time of publication. Now I just take my cell phone out of my pocket and put it down on the dining room table. My little phone has everything I need to know.

   I recently went into a local sandwich shop to pick up a bite to eat. It was a Tuesday. The place was full of high school kids. Back in my days in school we were not allowed to leave the building  during the day. I think the administration thought we might get into trouble. Little did they know.

   There was not one kid sitting at a table or standing in line who was not playing a game or texting on a cell phone. I wish I could get my fingers to move as fast as some of the kids were able to do. One of the boys shouted to another across the table about a new game he had just found and within only seconds almost everyone stopped what they were doing to search for the new game. I wonder if they attack their homework each night with the same speed and enthusiasm. There has got to be an app for that....how do get your homework done and not really do it!

   I asked one of the kids what his favorite app was. iFunny was his response. At any time of the day the app sends a random funny picture and you vote whether you like it or not.

   Silly me, but I had to ask the question. What happens if you are in class at the time? His response was that if the picture is funny he laughs very quietly but if it's a good one he shows the teacher. The teacher has the app on her phone too. My how times have changed.

   I don't have many apps on my phone. I can barely use it to make phone calls and it is only been recently that I have started to text. (And I don't really need to know how to spell thank goodness!) But I will admit there have been times while waiting for a doctor's appointment that having Angry Birds has helped to pass the time. My goal is still to get out of the beginner's level. There must be an app for that too!

A beginner's guide to bidding at an auction......

   As many of you may know, and for those who do not, we have a small antique business where we buy, sell and sometimes trade. They might be old things, not so old things, or maybe even new. The intent is, of course, to make a bit of money. If we relied on our antiques to buy our food or put gas in the car, we would need to step into an entirely new category where buying and selling becomes a full time job. At this point in life that is too big a step, so we maintain a somewhat 'hobby status' which allows us to buy and sell things we like just for the 'fun of it' and of course, it's not a bad thing  to make a little profit too.

   Most of the items we purchase, we buy at auctions and the truth of the matter is that.... auctions and watching people at the auction is down right fun and entertaining. No yard sale shopping here. Boring! At the auction, things can get 'down and dirty' with each person having their own style on 'how and when to bid' or when to stick up their hand or card. The fun can be matching your style with the others in the room. And if you get it right, you can pick up some pretty good deals.

   For those just starting out I thought I might give a few pointers and suggestions based upon my vast amount of worldly experience, well maybe not that vast and maybe not that worldly!.

   Suggestion one. Get to the auction early and preview. Now you probably are thinking that I am talking about the items to be sold. Wrong. I am talking about previewing the others in the room. Watch their actions and behavior, their moves. Do they carry a pad and pencil. Are they watching you watching them? It is important and helpful to be able to spot the serious dealers in the crowd. Often those bidders will set the tone of the auction and the prices. When they buy food at the snack bar, do they pay with a $20?

   Number two. Seating or standing location are key to auction success. Where one stands or sits separates the players from the sight-seers. There are many theories about location. Depending upon the auction, I often like to sit near the front, near the auctioneer. That way he or she has a clear line of sight to me when I bid. If it is a new auction, I may hang out in near the back for a while. That way I can see who is bidding on what, who my competition might be and what the items of their interests are. And often, it is just easier to get to the snack bar. Some auctions have great food. Would you rather go to an auction that has freshly made donuts or ones dumped out of a cardboard box?

   Number three. There is a flow to an auction, usually dictated by the pace of the auctioneer. It is important, depending upon the type and style of bidder you are, to pick up on the speed, pace and verbal rhythm of the auctioneer quickly. There are some who move very slowly, trying to squeeze out every dollar for each item. Those auctions can go on for what seems like days. Others move right along and before you know it, the item is sold and you never even got the chance to  bid, And if the auctioneer is really fast, before long you are left sitting alone, eating your freshly cooked donuts, while everyone else has packed up their trucks and vans and are on their way home.

   Number four. Some auctioneers will give you a clue when they are about to 'sell' the item. “Going, once, going twice......sold' is a common refrain. But there are others who use a simple shout of “sold.” No warning. For 'sniper' bidders like myself, it is important to learn the style of the auctioneer so you can get that last bid. Practicing in front of a mirror may help.

   Number five. Whether you are the successful bidder on an item or not, never, never show emotion. Save your expressions of joy or sorrow (tears) when you get back in the car and are out of the parking lot. Emotions are a dead giveaway and could be used against you by the 'well seasoned' auction-goer and experienced bidder. As they say...”never let them see you cry!”

   Number six. Avoid direct eye contact with those bidding against you. It will ensure, even guarantee, that you will end up paying more than you had intended. And if you do make eye contact by mistake, just close your eyes and turn your head in the opposite direction.

   A key to successful purchasing at an auction is timing. There are several theories about when to jump in on the bidding, when to back off and when to snipe.

   (For those not familiar with the term, 'snipe bidding' is trying to sneak in at the very last possible milli-second, not allowing time for the others to bid.)

   Depending upon how important the item is to you, you may opt to not be the first bidder. It's called "psyching out" the opponent. That way you can determine who else in the room has interest in the same item. There are times I want to be the first bidder, especially if people are not paying attention. At least by being the first bidder, others may think they know that I am interested in bidding, or maybe I am just a decoy for the auctioneer to get the bidding started.

   The most difficult decision at the auction is to know when to get out. My suggestion is to set your upper limit on what you are willing to pay.... and then know that you will probably spend more, not that this has ever happened to me.

   It is easy to get sucked into the emotion and the fun of the auction, but when the auction is finally over and you've loaded up your truck with some great buys, what you really may have done is to make new friends, have a great deal of fun and maybe even take any leftover donuts home.
    Oh! One more. Number seven. Don't forget your checkbook! Happy bidding and see you at the auction!

Perfect…. Just Perfect

   As I sat down to prepare to write this week,  I again fought the urge to write about politics and the upcoming election or the weather. One would definitely have to admit  the weather the past several days in early October has been more summer-like than Fall and would make a great topic. I could write about leaves,  especially since most have now fallen from the trees into my yard. But I'll pass on both topics again this week 

   Each week, as I think about the subject matter for the  column, my hope is to make the selection of the topic 'perfect',  perfect for all the readers. The 'perfect column'!  But before I began to write what I might consider the 'perfect column', I needed to do a bit of homework, because the word ‘perfect’ is used  so frequently now I wanted to make sure I get it right.

     According to Webster’s New World Dictionary  the word perfect means ‘a state of excellence’ or ‘faultlessness’. Completely correct! One only needs to listen to the conversations going on around us to hear the word used with constant regularity.  The perfect dress, the perfect car or maybe the perfect restaurant. Does that mean that everything is 'faultless'? How often do we hear about the  perfect storm? Too much snow...or not enough snow?

      We have all hoped, at one time or another, for the perfect date. Every bride and groom dreams of the perfect wedding. We search endlessly for the fast food restaurant chain that will serve us the perfect hamburger. For me it was always White Castle.

     The coach who wants his team to win the championship game encourages his players to play the perfect game or how about the conductor of the orchestra directing the musician with the wave of the baton, encouraging them to play the perfect concerto.

     Sales people are taught to use the word ‘perfect’ as many times as possible. If I remember from my training, I think it was five times in five minutes “That suit is perfect for you. It matches your eyes.” 
   "I don’t want a suit to match my eyes. I want a suit to  fit properly! “Oh. This tie is a perfect match too.” Is it a perfect match to the suit, my eyes or my credit card?

     Car sales people always have the perfect car for you. How do they know what's perfect?  “This new minivan would be perfect for you,the sales person says,  sizing up the young woman to be a soccer mom. Actually,  she had her eye on the little red convertible. OK. So she is a   'hot' soccer mom.

    We all want are children to grow up to be perfect. Do perfect parents ensure perfect children or is it the other way around? 
    Maybe you have heard someone say, “She is the perfect candidate to run for office in the upcoming election.” What makes her perfect? Maybe she knows the right people or has lots of money!  (Sorry. I was going to stay away from politics.)

    We have all heard of the perfect fool or the perfect stranger. How about the perfect novel or movie. We search for the perfect gift for that special (perfect) friend. Chocolate  works for me!

    Recently I overheard two friends talking. One was planning a party for her sister and her new boy friend. She wanted to make sure that everything was……you guessed it,  perfect! With that kind of expectation there are bound to be problems.

     I think I have figured out this word ‘perfect,’ however. For something to be perfect, it must be measured against a standard of some kind. That standard can be real or it can be imaginary, like a picture in your mind.

     I knew a coach who taught his player to swing a baseball bat with their eyes closed. "Picture in your mind the baseball racing toward home plate and just as it crosses the plate, swing the bat, sending the ball over the outfield fence." Basketball coaches often do the same for practicing foul shots. It's amazing, but I have never missed an imaginary foul shot in my life!   :)

   So for my readers and friends, I bring this  ‘perfect column’ to a conclusion and I hope you all have the perfect week.