Ah-choo

   It was bound to happen. I was standing in line at the check out and the person in front of me sneezed and coughed. The person behind me did the same. And who knows who or what had been pushing the shopping cart. (Good reason to shop on line.)

   I knew it is just a matter of time before I experience the dreaded symptoms; a runny nose, a scratchy throat, the watery eyes. But maybe if I hurry, I might avoid falling victim the “common cold'.

   By definition, the common cold is a respiratory infection, generally caused by a virus. Its symptoms are the  runny nose, watery eyes and often a cough and a headache. According to advertisements on television, the difficulty in breathing is the result of clogged or swollen nasal passages. Wow! I didn't know that! Sniff, sniff.

   I ask some friends how to prevent getting a cold and they share some great family and time tested suggestions. Near the top of the list is to avoid going out in public. Just stay home. Makes sense, but at some time I have to leave the house to go to work or go to the store.

   Suspecting that a cold might be coming I opted to take some precautionary measure. Airborne is a popular product. Rumor has it that it was designed by a teacher. Now what do teachers know about germs? What runny noses in classroom?

   Another suggestion by a friend is to keep the nasal passages clear of debris. Yes, picking your nose. But if you choose this method of prevention, you may wish to consider using a tissue. By the way, the person with this suggestion just came down with the flu.

   Of course there are the endless doses of Vitamin C, to the point where you turn into a and orange or grapefruit or a glass of juice.

  Most likely, unless one lives in a cave or in a far place, you probably have already been exposed to the germs. So now what?

   Echinacea might be something to consider. Or maybe a shot of whiskey and lemonade, or, just the whiskey. Grandma used to cut four onions per day to avoid a cold during the winter. We  could never tell if she ever suffered from a cold because she was always crying.

   One of my favorites is the 'sweaty socks' method. Wet, stinky, sweaty socks tied around your neck is said to keep colds away. I guess as long as you can smell the socks, you know you don't have a cold.

   So the attempts to keep the cold away were unsuccessful. My eyes began to tear, the nose was congested, and a pounding headache were signs that I am in for several days of discomfort. What to do ?

   There are shelves full of cold remedies at the local pharmacy, all designed to lessen the discomfort. But the truth is that even with the cold remedies I was in for three or four days of a runny nose, restless nights and the deep voice of a baritone.

   Suggestion! Tough it out and save my  money. A box of tissues, some of mom's good old chicken soup and an aspirin several times a day for the headache will lead to the same result as all the cold medications. OK. A shot of whiskey every now and then too.

   So I guess I'll curl up  in a warm blanket with a good book and hope to be back to normal  in a few short days.

   Can someone please pass me the tissues?

Holiday Greetings

   I will have my regular post on Wednesday of this week. But today is Christmas Eve and I could not let the day go by without wishing my readers and followers and those who don't read  my blog a very

                                            Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday

See you on Wednesday.
J

Anyone need a suit or sport coat?

   After many years of working I have decided to take a bit of time off and maybe, in the process, reinvent myself. I don't feel my age (retirement age) and still believe I have something to offer, but a bit of time for reflection may not be a bad thing.

   For those of you who know me, most of my working life was spent in education as a teacher, administrator, Associate Commissioner, and college instructor. I spent some time in the financial planning and insurance industry and most recently was part owner of a small local newspaper.

   (I really enjoyed my experience with the newspaper, although it was short lived. I had the opportunity to meet and interview some very interesting people. It was unfortunate that my business partner really did not have a clue on running a successful newspaper business or maybe any business and the lesson I learned was to do a bit more research about business partners before jumping into something like this, especially where money is involved. Unfortunately it was not until after the fact that many people came forward with warnings about my business partner and that information, in advance, might have caused me to make a different decision. But it is over, at least for a while, and as always... time and experience are often the best teacher.)

   So I have decided to kick back for a while, at least for the next few months and I must admit I like the “free time” to do as I please, when I please. Yeah.....right.! There is always something to do. When did I find time in the past to really enjoy life?

   One of the things I did not anticipate upon retirement was what to do with all my clothes. Now before you get all in a panic.....I still wear clothes. But what I wear is very different now.

   A look into my closet does not reflect my current clothing needs. There are at least 10 pairs of slacks, neatly arranged from black to charcoal gray to lighter gray.....you get the picture. Next... the shirts. There was a time a few years ago when I had at least fifteen white shirts, starched, ironed and ready for action. (Fifteen shirts would get me through three weeks at work). It was white shirt, dark suit and tie. There were twenty pairs of black socks, at least one pair of dress black and cordovan leather shoes, but never brown.

   Over the years as jobs changed and dress codes became more relaxed, the suits were replaced with sport coats, colored shirts and trendy ties. Today, in the closet down the line from the slacks and neatly ironed shirts are about eight sport coats. I always did like gray tweed, with the leather elbow patches! And there is still a suit or two tucked into the mixed as well.

   Today I have four pairs of jeans, several older shirts and a sweat shirt or two that make up my current daily dress code. It's usually sneakers or boat mocs for shoes although if I am feeling a bit daring, I will put on a pair of tassel loafers. Looks pretty cool!

   So what to do with all the clothes? Like many other baby boomers who have or will be retiring soon, I suspect they are facing a similar dilemma. For me...I think I'll let things hang around just a bit longer. You never know when you might need a nice pair of slacks, a shirt and tie and matching jacket, especially if the 'right retirement job ' comes along!

Shinning Stars

   Perhaps the sky seemed a bit brighter last evening as twenty young children,  viciously taken from  their families and a community, took their places among the stars . They were to become  'future stars', after living  full and rick lives. But for some twisted and perhaps for  reasons that will never be known,  their lives were cut short and the families, a community and a nation now must deal with the pain, sorrow and anger that accompanies the sudden and unexpected loss of  love ones, of unsuspecting and innocent children.
   Events like this show how the world and the society in which we live  is changing and each time something like this takes place it becomes more difficult to understand.
 The hearts and prayers of a nation go out to the families of the children and to the  families of those killed at the school.  This may be something we will never understand, but it is something we should never forget. Just look up to the beautiful nighttime sky on  some clear evening and you will remember.
  

What shall I have for breakfast today?

   The sun peaks between the curtains in the bedroom window. It's another day. A new beginning. A day filled with questions seeking answers and the first question, after a quick trip to the bathroom of course, is 'what to have for breakfast.' Trying to watch my weight, it's not going to be Frosted Flakes or some large cinnamon breakfast pastry. Yogurt again?
   After pouring myself a cup of coffee (no cream or sugar), do I want to watch the news on TV, read the morning paper, or read a few more chapters of the latest novel I started? Opting to read the newspaper, I usually go the 'Horoscopes' first. While I generally do not allow it to determine the kind of day I might have, often they do provide some insight into what to expect. Is the a self fulfilling prophecy maybe?.
   Today I am warned that it will be a day “filled with questions that may require difficult or elusive answers and potentially effecting the next few of days.”
   Every day we are confronted with the need to make decisions, some of them very important, some that could have a powerful impact upon life. As humans, we are generally very bad at making decisions and choices, especially when it comes to the 'big ones.'
   The process of making a big, difficult decision can cause sleepless nights, fear and regret for making the wrong decisions, or just not knowing the potential outcomes of the choices we make.
   Many of the decisions we make on a daily basis occur without really even thinking about them. What to have for breakfast or what to wear to work do not require a great deal of thought, unless you have a job interview and what you wear may have some degree of important. Does this tie really match my sport coat?
   As a child, many of the decisions that effect our lives are made by parents or older brothers and sisters. “If you tell mom or dad about the party, I'll kill you.” But I'm too young to die! "OK. I won't say a word."
   The first important decision most face, thanks to school,  is...”What do you want to be when you grow up?”  How do I know? I am only 5 and can't even cross the street by myself yet and now I have to decide on a job or career. Whatever!
   Over time we do learn how to make decisions and we discover that there are really only two things to consider, what's best for you and how to determine that. It is at this point that things sometimes fall apart.
   The 'you' part is pretty simple. If you are having a good day, the decisions  may work out well, but a bad day may lead to much different results. Under pressure or stress? It probably is not a good day to make those  all important life decision. Let your body be your guide. Quite simply, how do you feel? In general, good moods often equal good decisions,  while bad moods...well, you know!
   The second thing to consider is the process to use. Some people use intuition, others may take a more rational or organized approach, such as laying out a "decision tree" or map or use the Ben Franklin model, consisting of a piece of paper with two columns, one  labeled 'pro', the other 'con'. Worked for him, so it might work for you..
  Some thoughts about making good decisions? First. Listen to your instincts, but don't let them always be the boss. Next. Try to identify all the alternatives. Third. If you have a bit of time on your side, separate yourself from the emotions of the moment. Distance often gives perspective. Fourth. By not making a decision, you are, in actually, making a decision. You are deciding not to decide. Not a good idea if you  need to move forward .
   So,  back to breakfast for today. I know!! Instead of eating, I think I'll just go back to bed and try to catch a few extra minutes of sleep.That's a good decision (maybe).

Is that a video camera I see focused on me?

   I generally do not like to write about political issues. I leave that task and 'responsibility' to those who know more than I do or are trying to make a name for themselves. But every once and awhile I have this little twinge, when something upsets me, and feel the need to express a thought or two.

   Truth is, I don't read a hard copy of a newspaper much any more. Most of the time, I will look at the news on-line, on the computer. That way I don't get bogged down with all the advertisements and the car sales. I am sure there are some small bits of local news I am missing, but.... the price of a subscription is not worth one or two hometown stories and besides, I am trying to save a tree.

   A story, though, that got my attention was the one about the Governor being followed and filmed. Is that tracking or stalking? I am not a big fan of the current Governor. He has not endeared himself to me and others with his unfettered comments and brash ramblings about the happenings in Washington D. C. or the poor quality of education our children receive in public schools .He is rough around the edges and sometimes appears to lack a sensitivity more fitting to the 'polished' politicians.

   True, he was elected to office by about 38 per cent of the voters and the “62 %” buttons often anger him. But despite the claims by some regarding “vote fixing, he won the election and serves the people of the state. Not happy with the results, voters will soon have the opportunity to make changes in a few short months (23 to be exact at this writing)... if they so desire..

   The point is that he is still the Governor, like it or not, and there is a certain respect that needs to be given to the position. We may not like what he says sometimes or what he does. We have no one to blame but ourselves. But I am sure he does not deserve some of the the treatment he has received in the press, or from the Democrats, to the point of harassment, tracking and stalking by those with differing views. Who says their views are correct? But, do we need to film and record his every move?? Come on folks, get a life!

   My disappointment rests with the fact that there are many more things of importance that need to be addressed rather that following our sometimes 'rough around the edges' Governor around with a video camera, recording his every move.

   Perhaps I am still naive enough to believe that if people decided to work together instead of against each other, problems and issued might get solved and society would be the better for it. Just look at the foolishness taking place in our nation's Capitol. And are we paying their salaries? What a disgrace. The 'founding fathers' must be turning over in their graves.

   Someone needs to step up and show a bit of class, a bit of respect. To follow and videotape  one's almost every move is child-like. Foolishness!! Over time, his missteps and mistake will be duly noted, just as they would be for all of us. And to cancel a meeting, one designed to begin a dialogue toward solving some of the state's pressing issues, is equally as child -like. Don't stoop to that level... Gov!

   Both sides need to remember how each came to power and who really deserves the RESPECT. I vote for the people of Maine!!

  I knew there was a reason why I am a registered Independent.

Answering the world's most puzzling queastion

   For hundreds or maybe thousands of years philosophers and the great world thinkers have attempted to find the elusive answers to the important questions of the world. What is the meaning of life? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it really make a sound? What is the sound made by one hand clapping? Does Santa Claus really fly from rooftop to rooftop or does he merely drop gifts from about twenty thousand feet? Is there life after a Republican takeover of the legislature? You bet there is. Just ask any Democrat after this year's election.

   Lest I run a fowl of forgetting, the most important question of all might just be......”Why did the chicken cross the road?” For centuries, the world, from the very young to the very old, has sought to find the answer to this puzzling question.

   Not being a chicken, I decided to go directly to the source. Approaching Henrietta with great caution I asked the question. “Why?” Her response was a flapping of feathers and a “buk, buk, buk”. But not understanding chicken, I decided to seek the answer elsewhere.

   A quick survey at the local grocery store got some strange looks but great answers. Now one would expect the usual responses. But then, there was the occasional 'who cares' or 'none of your business.' People can be so rude. It was just a very simple question! Don't get your tail feathers all twisted.

    I think chickens have been very misunderstood. Like... it was the chicken's fault for the outbreak of salmonella poisoning in the Midwest several months ago? Sounds more like a problem created by people in a hurry to make a profit rather than a chicken laying a bad egg. Now if you are expecting a joke here, I am going to disappoint you. What happened was serious and many people could have died. Human error?

   Chickens have become the brunt of many jokes and I don't understand why. What other animal can have it's head cut off and still be able to run around for several minutes? Sound a bit like the Congress in Washington sometimes!!

   Why would we call our best friends 'chicken' if they refused to take a dare or drink at an underage party or a puff on the joint and then get into a car.. Sounds pretty smart to me.

   Poor Chicken Little. All she could do was run around shouting that the sky was falling. Did anyone actually believe her? Remember. The story was written to teach a lesson in 'courage'. Does that apply to the pending 'fiscal cliff' too? Is anyone listening or just running around with their heads cut off?

   Like other animals, a chicken can be very loyal to its owner and often becomes the family pet. It recognizes your voice and may greet you at the door each morning. And then on some unsuspecting day...whack with a hatchet and in a few short hours Henrietta appears on the serving platter at the dinner table. No one can eat her though. Who could possibly eat the family pet. My suggestion?. Don't give the chicken a name. Poor Henrietta.

   Chickens don't fly very well. I am assuming at one time they were very skilled in the art of flying, but over time they lost the ability to soar with the eagles. I can picture it now,.. five eagles in formation lead by.... a chicken. Makes for an interesting image!

   So....back to the original question. Why did the chicken cross the road? Perhaps it was to prove that if you need a new challenge and a fresh  start, crossing the road may be the place to begin! (But..be sure to look both ways, )

Auctions take us back in time

   For those of you that know me, you know that I like antiques, old things, historical things. I like to go to auctions and antique shops. On Sunday mornings, you can usually find me at the local auction.

   I generally like to preview an upcoming auction the day before... if I can. It gives me a head start on what might be good and what to avoid. It would be nice to be able to do that with life also, get a preview of the upcoming day, that is, and what might be good and what to avoid for that day.

   Now allow me to explain. I have plenty of antiques and old furniture because I like to collect and I also like to buy and sell.  It's kind of a history lesson for me, the items representing a time with simpler, yet stronger values and life purpose. Today is just too fast paced.

  As I walked the aisles for today's preview, I noticed several early radios, the kind with tubes inside. Very popular right now.  I can only imagine a family sitting around the table after dinner listening to the news reports about the battles in Europe during WW II. Next to the radios are several small boxes containing military metals, pins and buttons. Had the original owners of the radios once had family members in the war?

   There was a nice, early baker's table that caught my attention, probably mid to late 1800's. The finish on the top was well scarred from use, and soaked with sugar, butter, and flour I am sure. Cooking was a big part of early family life. Under the tutelage of a mother or grandmother, girls would learn to cook and the boys would learn to farm or run the family business from their fathers. Yes, it was a time when values and life's lessons were passed down from one generation to another.

   Under the table were two cardboard boxes. One contained old letters and the other, picture post cards. I found a chair, sat down and began to look through the letters and cards. Some of the earliest letters dated back to the Civil War. Although difficult to read, it appeared that the sender was telling family members that he hoped to be home soon. Had he been a member of the 20th Maine? Did he actually survive to return to see his family? The letters were truly a window to the past.

  

   The box of picture post cards was filled with cards from the 1920's and 30”s. All had briefly scribbled messages about vacation days spent along the coast of Maine. Many of the pictures were of buildings and hotels that no longer existed. There were scenes from beaches along southern Maine with bathers clad in those crazy looking bathing suits and swim caps.

   A bit farther down the aisle were two dolls, wrapped in tissue paper. Antique dolls have always been very popular collectibles. Long before the plastic of Barbie, dolls were generally made of bisque, wax, or porcelain. and today they can bring a pretty fair price if in good condition More often, early dolls were homemade, made of homespun cloth and stuffed with straw or fabric with hand painted faces. These dirty faces and clothing indicated that they had been well used and well loved. The little girls who had played with them...... what became of their lives.

   I had seen enough to know that I would be back tomorrow. and as I drove home I wondered  about the future, a hundred years from now.  What  would the auction-goers be buying from our generation, perhaps antique IPADS and old cell phones?

The changing face of the American

   It was Saturday afternoon and we needed to go grocery shopping. The weather was bright and sunny. The parking lot was packed. With the nice day, it appeared as though others had the same idea..... get out of the house and into some fresh air.
   Usually a trip to the store is quick, but we were not in a hurry today, so moving  up and down the aisles was more relaxed and it gave me the opportunity to see what bargains the shelves had to offer. What could the store tempt me to buy?  And with the extra time, it also gave me a chance to do a bit of 'people watching'.
   As I moved through the store, I found myself looking into the faces of what might be the next American. I only needed to look around to get a sense of the future of health care in our country. I am sure there were many I passed with either high blood pressure, diabetes, heart conditions, or obesity and  they didn't know they were inflicted, or didn't care. I know I am a bit over weight, but today I looked pretty good compared to others.  No wonder the drug companies are doing  well. Yes, the future looks bright for rising health care costs in America, costs that will effect even the healthy.
      In the breakfast food aisle a mother and daughter fought over  which cereal to buy. The scary thing was that most choices were not good, many loaded with sugar and preservatives. Mom won, but the entire store suffered as the child screamed and cried as she and her mother moved up and down the  aisles. Thank goodness they were near to the Ring Dings. Several packages quieted her down. Bribery does work!
   Does anyone know how to cook healthy meals anymore? I know eating healthy is expensive. Shoppers were not lined up in the fresh produce department. Schools no longer teach basic living skills; cooking, budgeting, small household repairs and manners, probably in part because the skills can not be measured on a standardized test. But then... isn't life the real test?
   When I was in high school (the dark ages), required courses for graduation included such classes  as driver education, family living, and home economics. For driver education, we didn't need to get a license, but we had to take the class. If I remember, I took classes that may have prepared me for life, in addition to learning how to read and write.
   Back in the store, I only needed to  listen to the language and watch the behavior of children and hear the way they spoke to parents and adults to understand the current lack of parenting skills. Where are parenting skills  taught today? You only need to listen to the 'words' to get a sense of a loss of a moral compass. But then watch television or go to the movies. Come on Charlie Sheen!
   As I turned the corner in the electronics department a young boy of about 8 slammed into my shopping cart. After a quick recovery he raced past me and I noticed a 'blue tooth' hanging over his ear. Give me a break! I know it is a different world and technology is an important part of life, or so I have been told. But an 8 year old with a cell phone? I wonder what he was going to have for dinner tonight or was the money going to pay for his cell phone service?
   And what mother would allow a child to go into a store dressed in pajama bottoms? Oh, wait!!! That wasn't the child, it was the mother! Silly me!!

Forcasting the weather and herding the cats

   If I am fortunate to come back to earth in a second life, I hope I am able to come back as a meteorologist, a weatherman. I have always enjoyed trying to forecast the weather, matching my skills with the men and women on the various TV news channels. I know they have computers and other scientific means to help them forecast the weather, but sometimes I wonder if having a plain, old, ordinary window on the world is all that is really needed.

   For many, weather is important in daily life. Storms impact travel, farming, vacations, golf games and often affect attitudes and behavior. Weather can determine where we choose to live. There is a reason why Florida is so popular.

   Now before I go any farther, I need to acknowledge the hardship and devastation recently experienced along the New Jersey shore and New York City area. I have lived in both areas and to view what happened is heartbreaking. Some things will never be the same.

   The weather does provide a topic to talk about when a conversations are exhausted. It gives us something to be joyful about, like a bright warm sunny day or to the contrary, something to complain about.

   A pending forecast can give us an excuse to do something, like take a day off from work if it is going to be sunny and warm or to avoid doing something we really didn't want to do anyhow. A bit of snow today? I had better cancel my dentist appointment. Could be dangerous travel.

   It appears, however, that in recent years weather forecasting has taken on a bit of showmanship. Colorful charts, graphs, maps and videos now add a new and exciting dimension to the forecast. Pictures of the earth from miles above its surface show swirls of clouds and storms as they move from place to place. That storm coming in from the Pacific Oceans looks like a real “humdinger”. Time to get to the grocery store and then 'hunker down.'

  But again, let me add that the recent forecast of hurricane Sandy was right on target and as the area  braces for another storm this week, there is a new respect for Mother Nature and what the weather forecasters do.

   Back in the checkout line at the store, I overheard a discussion between two people, a bit older than I am. They were talking about the old days and the storms 'way back when.' “Storms today just aren't like they use to be.”

   Actually I think they are getting worse. I do believe in global warming!.

   There are some 'givens' about the weather. We will have weather every day albeit rain or sun, wind or clouds. Even with all the computers and other tools of the trade, predicting the weather is not a perfect science and sometimes the storms and weather seem to have minds of their own..

   A forecast late last winter called for a light amount of snow, somewhere in the three to four inch range. But to the surprise of many, that light dusting turned out to be fourteen inches. Honey! Better call the plow guy.

   What I believe is that forecasting the weather can often be like herding a bunch of cats. You know what you want them to do, but sometimes they have a mind of their own and while they eventually may end up doing what you wanted, it may have taken a different route to get them there.

   Weather forecasting sometimes has similar results, not exactly what you expected.

But we like that because if it goes badly, except for the major storms, we have someone to blame. Come on Steve McKay. Get it right? I had outdoor plans for today and now it's raining!

    Yes, the sun is out today......and there goes that pesky bunch of neighborhood cats racing across my back yard again but I sure hope the Nor'easter predicted for later this week decides to blow out to sea!!.

To vote or not to vote...Is that the question????

   With only one exception, I have voted in every election since I was eligible to vote many years ago. This was the lesson taught in school.... the importance of voting, civic responsibility and service and for most of my life I took this teaching to heart. But for some reason, this year I am not so sure and have some real doubts.

   In the past, the months leading up to an election were exciting. Candidates would focus, not on the failures of opponents, but on the issues and ideas important to them. There was a civility and respect shown for those seeking elected office. But in recent years that civility has been replaced with character assassination, negative advertising and the infusion of millions of dollars to either support a candidate or destroy an opponent.

   What has been upsetting this year are the number of phone calls and surveys. As early as July the phone has rung on a fairly regular basis, either from one party or another or from one of the many groups supporting or not supporting an issue on the ballot.

   I thought I had the system figured out. Answer the phone, don't say anything and then hang up. That worked for most. What happened the other evening, however, was that the same number appeared on my caller ID 4 times within a two hour period. On call number 4, I redialed the number only to hear that the number could not accept incoming calls. Hmm!!!!

   For a short period of time this past Spring I had considered running for a seat in the legislature. Within several weeks I was contacted by party officials and given a primer course in what I needed to do, who I needed to see and what I needed to say. There was one problem. I consider myself to be a fairly independent thinker and “independents” don't do very well in today's government. If you are an “independent” in Augusta, you get a chair and a desk in the hallway or a spot in the back of the maintenance closet. And committee assignments? Forget that! So much for “yankee independence”. Nope...I decided not to run!

   What has disturbed me the most about this year's election, the one at the federal level, is the amount of money that is being spent. We are not talking about thousands of dollars any more, not even millions, but billions of dollars. Who says the economy is in rough shape. If there is that kind money available to put toward an election, imagine what a few of those dollars could do to build new schools or give to research for cancer cures or fight domestic abuse and violence. With billions of dollars being invested in the election, someone must be making money.

   Every few years there are calls for election reform and I suspect that after this year's election we may hear the battle cry again, especially if the 'right' candidates don't get elected. To get a head start, here is my partial list of ' 'reforms'.

  There should be a cap on the amount of money each candidate can spend. PAC money is no longer allowed. Any PAC that wishes to support a candidate can do so through a charity or cause of the candidate's choice, such as giving to cancer research. No campaigning before August 1 of the election year and all campaigning ends one week before election day so that candidates have time to spend time to get reacquainted with their families.

   Election day is just a few days away, and yes, I will vote as I have always done. But for those pollsters who are reading this....please do not call me and ask who I will be receiving my vote. I will be taking the phone off the hook until November 7^th !

Three

          My daughter called the other day. She was not having a good day. Her computer had stopped working. The garbage disposal broke and the car wouldn’t start.  Her comment?  It’s funny how things seem to happen in three’s.

          When I thought about it, she was right. Events, both good and bad, often happen in groups of three. I can think of a number of illustrations to prove the point. Here are some of my favorites.

         There are several sports references that are built upon the number 3. Baseball’s three strikes and you’re out or the basketball shot from 3 point range. In ice hockey, three goals by the same person is called a ‘hat trick’. And if the home team wins, it’s 3 cheers for them.  Hip, hip, hooray!

         There are also non-sports related references. Three’s company or three’s a crowd is quite common. God forbid if your two best friends ask you out and you end up being the ‘third wheel’!  Great, you get to be the designated driver.

          If you watch children playing and there are only three, one is usually left out, at least for the moment and before long feelings end up being hurt. Parents, take note. There should always be at least more than three invited to the birthday party! And in gym class in school, what’s this counting off by 3’s. Coach, you know Robert can’t count past 2.

          Now we all remember the 3 “Rs”, right? Then there are the three square meals a day. What’s a square meal anyhow? 

          One of my personal favorites is the ‘three bricks shy of a load’. Somehow I don’t think that is a reference to a truck load of bricks.  Is that really how you describe your sister’s new boy friend? Or maybe you are referring to his behavior at the New Year’s Eve party, ‘three sheets to the wind’.

          Now there is the 3-ring circus and the 3-ring binder. Why not 2 or 4? In a poker game, there is three of a kind; not a bad hand. Sure beats two of a kind but not a full house.  Even in music, the number 3 appears. There is ‘Three Coins in a Fountain’ or ‘Three Blind Mice’. Poor things. 

          At a recent auction there were some coins being sold that were said to be from a sunken treasure. They were as ‘phony as a three dollar bill’.  And have you ever watched a con-man move the shells around in a shell game. There are only three shells and you still can’t find the pea.

          By now you probably would like to have 3 wishes, the first being that I bring a conclusion to this week’s column.  But I have just one more thought for you to consider. When things are not going well for you, try again and maybe one more time, because the ‘third time is often the charm’.

           

Some thoughts for my grandchildren

   I recently spent the weekend with my granddaughters and watched as they played. The oldest entered middle school this past September, the youngest, kindergarten, although I think she sees herself to be ready for high school. She knows more at her age than I did when I was her age.

   Listening to the screams and laughter, I thought about their lives and their future. Life is going to be very different for them.

   Looking back, planning for my life seemed so simple. There were things I expected would be in place such as  social security and a comfortable retirement. But heading into retirement in 2012,  being comfortable has become a concern. Looking at the kids, I can't imagine what life might be like for them.

   If I were to give them some 'grandfatherly' advice, what would I say?

   I would start by advising them not to take anything for granted. They will have to work hard and the rules will change at a moments notice. My generation had planned for a retirement that would meet the financial needs in hopes of living a comfortable life. But look at the cost of a loaf of bread. At age 25, who suspected that the price of gasoline would be over $4 per gallon when it was once 45 cents or that a gallon of milk would cost nearly the same as a six pack of beer.

   I had hoped that a health care system would be affordable and that it would help pay some medical expenses and  issues that come along with old age. I expected to live in a society where age was something that was honored and not viewed by the young as a burden. But today, being old is now almost a crime.

  I would encourage them to plan for the 'unexpected.' and take personal responsibility for their future. I hope they will live a long and wonderful life, but know that many things will change, just as they did for me. Anticipate change and embrace it.

   Expect that technology will change the world as I know it today. They may work longer than I and that 'going to the office' might mean sitting at the kitchen counter in pajamas typing on a computer. 
   Star Trek may actually become a reality as they may be beamed up to the grocery store. What's a grocery store anyhow?

   Retirement will not be the life changing event at age 62,  65 or 67. They may work longer because they will be living longer and will need the income. Can you imaging working at 75 or 85.

   There are some other considerations too. They, along with their children, may grow old together. Seventy five year wedding anniversaries many not be uncommon or divorces may become more popular as long term relationships wane in the senior years.

   Communal living, a way of life in the 1960's, may be reborn as seniors seek the companionship and friendship of peers of similar age. Assisted living may move from 'the nursing home' back to the family home.

   The current decisions being made today in Washington or Augusta about an older society seem to lack focus and a genuine concern. They are a bit short sighted. What is lacking is balance between the greed of today  and a vision and plan for life in the future.
   I have lived a good life. I can sit in the sun and watch the grandchildren play. I sincerely hope my generation doesn't ruin their future and  the opportunities to share some 'grandfatherly' advice with their grandchildren.

Your call is Important to us

   ………..and other meaningless phrases! 

            You dial the number. The phone rings three times. A recording on the other end of the line says, “Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line.”

           I am going to assume for a minute that I am the only person that has had this often frustrating experience.  If it were really important, why is there not a live person on the other end of the line? I know, it’s the economy and during difficult financial time, customer service takes the back seat.

          Each day we hear and maybe use a number of these meaningless phrases. Here are several of my favorites.

          “I am from the government and I am here to help!” Are you kidding me? What has government done for me to make my life easier? The intentions may be good and honorable, but the reality is a far different outcome. I like the word ‘honorable’.

          “The check is in the mail,” or it sure will be as soon as I get off the phone. To avoid a confrontation, you may have actually used this phrase yourself on occasion. It’s called a delay tactic. Given the benefit of the doubt, you may have truly forgotten to send the check. Now, write out that check and race to the mailbox.

            I recently overheard this discussion in an aisle at Wal-Mart. Two people had just met and it was obvious they had not seen each other for some time. “Let’s do lunch sometime!” “Sure.”  As one walked past me, I heard her mumble. “Like that’ll happen in this century!”       

            One of my favorites. “The buck stops here!” The implication is that the person you may be speaking with actually has the authority to do something. Truthfully, I find it hard to believe, especially when the next response is something about having to the manager’s approval.

          These are often used as a group. “That’s a really good question. I’ll have to check into it and get back to you. Can I call you later?” Now what are you going to say to that? “No?”  I don’t think so.       

                    The health industry is taking a great deal of criticism these days. In some cases, the criticism is unwarranted.  But every once and awhile….!  A quick call to the doctor and “take two aspirin and call me in the morning” may tell me someone is late for a tee time at the golf course.

          Staying with the medical theme for just a moment, I can remember taking my children to the doctor for a shot and the child being told that “this won’t hurt a bit.” Was the nurse talking about the shot or the force with which she grabbed the child's arm?

          Love is not exempt from these meaningless phrases. “I’ll still love you in the morning if you will …….!” At least one time in almost every teenage boy’s life these word may have rolled off his tongue. What was on his mind?

          So here’s the deal. You read this column and I’ll call you later to get your opinion.

Whatever........

Whatever...

   When it comes to the English language and communication, I tend to be a traditionalist. Say what you mean and mean what you say. But with email and texting, communication and word meaning  is taking a beating.
   I know that slang has always been part of any culture, probably dating back to the beginning of time. Who does not remember 'groovy' or 'cool'. “Hey man, dressed like that.... where are you from? Podunk?” Or, you must be one of 'the good old boys.'
   Slang continues to emerge as a way to put a 'spin' on meaning and expression. It has moved from the simple 'ain't' to words and expressions I would not include in this article or any article for that matter. Not fit to print!
   However, one only needs to travel the aisles of  WalMart or stand in line at  Wendy's to discover just how far we have come and that is not a positive observation. Remember, I am a traditionalist.
   I recently stood in line behind a family as I waited patiently to place my order for two hamburgers “off the dollar menu.” It was difficult to not listen to the discussion that took place in front of me. If I were going to be their third  grade teacher, I do believe it would be a very interesting year. I was amazed at what came out of the children's mouths.  But then you only needed to listen to the parents to understand. 
   After a heated discussion at the counter, the oldest child of the group, my guess a teenager, stormed off, turned to look at the mother and verbally responding with a loud “whatever.”
   For those not sure, “whatever” is slang term that generally means “whatever you say” or more often, “I don't care what you say.” It's intent is to express  indifference, a “who cares what you say” attitude. Sounds pretty 21st century teenager to me.
   One simple word, grammatically called an interjection I think, has now become a complete sentence.
   The history of “whatever” dates back to the 1980's. Remember the 'valley girls' of  California and their “I don't care” attitude. It was the beginning of a cultural revolution.  When spoken, it was often accompanied while forming a “W” with the hand. Cool! We Americans are so clever.
   In a poll taken by Marist College in 2009-2010, whatever was voted the phrase that was “most annoying in a conversation.” My guess is that the dubious honor may still rank at the top of the list today.
   In defense of it's use, it can often be quite an effective tool. What better way to be a passive-aggressive conversationalist. How simple it is to block having to respond or express an honest thought or opinion. Don't want to talk? “Whatever.”
   What is  exciting about “whatever” are the items you can purchase. There are Whatever T Shirts, clocks, posters, key chains in the shape of a 'W so you don't have to use your hand, book covers (a great idea for school), and computer screen savers.
   I am  concerned about the future of the English language. Will we eventually reach a time when we only communicate in one or two word conversations or flash hand signs to the neighbor who is disposing his garbage over the fence in my backyard.
   Will we reach a point where we will never talk at all?
   So, don't like my column? “Whatever!”

Cursive Writing or is it Cursed Writing?

   I recently received a very nice note from a person who had read one of my columns a week or two ago. After reading it I put the note down for a minute but then picked it up again. The handwriting was beautiful. The note was not typed or printed, but written in cursive. It was obvious this person had learned cursive writing very well, way back when. Perhaps she had been a teacher, or maybe a calligrapher.
   I am not sure how many people today know what cursive writing is. So, in my best 'Jimmy Olsen' mode, I decided to do some investigating.
   The questions I needed to answer ...........”Is cursive writing still taught in schools? Do students spend hours upon hours practicing the hand motion for each letter and then put them together to spell a word?”    
   The answer was.............”not as much time as in the past.” Computers have changed how we write and students need to recognize letters as they would see them on a computer screen.
   Well, that makes some sense to me, but there must be more.
   I contacted some of my educator friends and posed the questions. The general consensus was that it takes too much time to teach cursive writing and there are so many more important things students need to learn (for the test, of course). With only so many hours in the day, 'something has to give.' Let’s give up handwriting!
   Again, that makes some sense to me, but I am not sure I like where this is heading.
   Children don't like to write any more because in some cases it means putting down their game boy or giving up the cell phone and texting. It was difficult enough to learn to print letters, now we have to transform them into cursive. For those students having difficulty writing, there is a program available called “Handwriting Without Tears.” Are those teacher tears, student tears or parent tears. (Remember the old report cards with a penmanship grade?)
   When I was in high school (that was the early 60's) most teachers required term papers and project  be typed rather than hand written. Even in those days the 'writing was on the wall!' If a student submitted a term paper that was hand written, points were deducted. I wonder how many moms or dads stayed up late at night to type that term paper the night before it was due. (Does spelling count?)
   Colleges have always been on the cutting edge when it comes to being innovative. Professors now want students to email there papers and projects. Saves space and saves a tree or two, but what about the experience of getting a paper returned, bathed in red ink? High school and even middle school teachers are beginning to follow a similar path.
   I am waiting in line at a local bank recently and the person ahead of me is cashing a check. The teller asks the person to sign the back of the check with a signature. A what? Can I print my name? Please?
   So to the person who sent me the hand written cursive note, I thank you, not only for the note but for a reminder of what may become a lost art.

What "if"...............

There is a commercial on television where the word 'life' is part of a product name and, as part of the advertisement, they highlight the word 'if' within the word 'life'. Very clever, and very true. Life  holds a series of 'ifs' for us and it is up to us to do what we will when confronted with those 'ifs'. How many times have you heard someone say...”what if I don't pass the test” or “what if I am late to the appointment.”

What "if " people said... “may I, please, and thank you?” Would it be a kinder world? Would people be more polite toward each other? Would there be less violence. Interesting to think about!

Baseball caps have become part of a wardrobe and a culture. But what "if"... a young man took off his cap upon entering a room or restaurant. What would happen if the young man removed his cap upon meeting someone new. Would that person thing more highly of the young man?

What "if."..politicians kept the promises they made during the campaign and worked as hard after the election as they did to get themselves elected. Now I know promises are hard to keep  and as a result, some might decide to make fewer promises or at least make ones they know they can keep.

What "if" on a given day, no one used a cell phone or a blackberry and just went about life as it used to be. A person was recently interviewed on his way from an eye exam. He was concerned that his sight was failing. He reported that he texts someone about every forty to fifty seconds. No wonder his eyesight is going bad. His texting  may have been preventing him from a daily schedule of personal hygiene as it appeared he needed a shower, a shave, and a comb. Come on, every forty seconds???

What "if.".. everyone stayed within the speed limits on the highways? Would there be fewer accidents and could money be saved with fewer police and lower insurance rates? So what "if "it took a bit longer to get to where your were going. Leave earlier?

What "if"... a law were passed to force families  to sit down and have dinner together once a week? Before someone comes unglued with my suggestion of government interference into everyday life, I know the law would never pass. I mean, look at the biker helmet law. And that one is designed to help save lives. Think about the potential positive outcomes of sitting down together as a family or with friends (for those who do not have families). You wouldn't have to text them for at least an hour!

What "if.".. stores were not allowed to be open on Sundays? Is it really necessary to  shop seven days a week? There once was a time when.........I think it was called the 1950's and most of us grew up OK!
And what "if", just for a minute each day, we stopped to think about how fortunate we are to be able to live and move about freely, wear what we want, think what we want, eat what we like and read what we enjoy.

Please feel free to send me your “what if”...........

Who will take care of me when I am old?

My dad passed away at age 91. My mother turned 92 last week. She recently moved from an assisted living center in Portland to one in Bangor. A bit closer for convenience and with current gas prices, it seemed to make sense.

Generations ago, aging family members would have lived at home, with care given by family members. There also seemed to be a nice social piece here too.

This is not going to be a column about moving, although there were a few interesting moments in the move. This is a '500 word ' take on life and how it is changing.

Today everything seems to be political. Republican or Democrat, Liberal or Conservative. Tea Party or Libertarian or any other group out there fighting for lower taxes, health care reform, fighting for less government or in some cases, more government , they all have one thing in common. The younger you are today, the likelihood is that you will live longer in the future, longer than any previous generation. The current life expectancy is 77.5 years, give or take a couple a couple of months. That is up significantly from just fifty years ago. It is no wonder the sixty-five and up generation is fighting to lower taxes and hold on to precious retirement dollars. Those of us in that group have a pretty good understanding of the future, primarily because the future for us has arrived and we know how expensive it will be. But, do we have to make 'living longer' a political issue. Lets see, those born in even years can live to an age of …while those born in odd years......

As a result of living longer, people may be forced to work longer. Can you imagine getting up and going to work each day at age eighty. There are some mornings I can barely move now. At eighty? I know there are some eighty year olds who do work. But my guess is they do it because they want to, not because they have to. A little extra cash in the pocket is a good thing. But the future? Those dollars may have to pay the everyday bills.

I also assume that the younger generation, like those before them, are not preparing for those glorious days of retirement, a time when your income will come from social security and retirement accounts that might have been managed by a Bernie Madoff type or someone similar, seeking to insure his or her own retirement happiness.

Today, the 'kids' as they are often called, are buying houses, raising families, and paying for college educations as they should. They probably will not have the resources to take care of mom and dad. (Just an aside. When I went to college, the tuition rate was $4300 per year. Today that rate, at the same school, has grown to $21,800. Imagine forty years from now?)

A younger generation will have spent time texting and facebooking, avoiding most human face to face interaction. Social cues will become a thing of the past, just like hand writing, the telephone and library books. In the 'home' where they may live, paid by those retirement accounts and social security if you are one of the fortunate to still be in the system, they stare vacantly at those sitting across from them in the dining room, not knowing what to say except OMG or LOL.

So for the legislators out there, I propose the following: LD 100, An Act to Prevent People from Growing Old.. You can get anything passed!!

School Days

  

          Miss Carr was a tough second grade teacher. She would pace around the room while we did our math problems, spying over our shoulder and if we made a mistake, would gently tug on our ear indicating that we had made an error. Poor Justin! His ears were so misshapen from all the tugging that I suspect even today it is difficult for him to look into a mirror without remembering Miss Carr.

          After the assignment was done, we moved to the next activity, the endless math drills, memorizing the multiplication tables. The drills went on for ever. The 17 X  table was a real challenge. Is there anything today that requires us to multiply anything by 17, anywhere?

          Next was spelling. Everyone would go to the front of the room for the dreaded spelling bee. There was only one chance to get it right. If you missed it, you sat down. Last one standing got a prize, usually an eraser. The consequence of not being last resulted in no recess and extra words to learn. Becky had so many erasers she was able to sell them to earn extra milk money.

          After spelling…. Cursive  writing. Yes, in the second grade. There were to be no spelling errors. Her favorite topic was “What I see out of my bedroom window’. Looking back, that was a strange topic. But she was an old spinster  so maybe it made sense. Maybe she had no window in her bedroom.  Maybe she had no life beyond school.

          My point is that if you are over the age of thirty five, your school experience probably consisted of spelling, drill, writing, math and more drill. Should a phone call go home, life could become very uncomfortable with extra time in your room thinking about what you had done wrong?

          The end of the year always brought excitement and relief, but only after ‘Parent Day’ and the poem we had to memorize and recite as the closing activity. I think I remember “The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere”.

          Fast forward fifty years. The chairs are not fastened to the floor. The constant drills in math and spelling are gone, although maybe they should have continued. Green shades on the windows have been replaced by curtains and blinds.

        Miss Carr is long retired. The teacher in the front of the room is better trained in learning theory and curriculum. There are new ways to measure student progress. The charts above the blackboard with the cursive alphabet are gone. Blackboard?  What’s a blackboard?

          Each classroom has at least one computer and depending upon the grade level, each student might have his or her own. During those fifty year there were new techniques tried; inventive spelling, modern math, phonetic spelling, reading groups, no reading groups, mastery tests, remedial instruction, diagnostic testing. Some innovations  survived, others crashed and burned.

          Fifty years later, children are still children, though. Yes, they have very different experiences than you and I had because the world is different. But some things should remain constant. Good teachers are important, and so are good parents, interested parents.

What would you do?

  I wrote this almost three years ago. But in recent weeks, several events have occurred make the topic even more relevant today. With that said.....I hope you don't mind reading this again and asking yourself the question "What would I do?"

    I have come to the conclusion that most of us walk around in  total denial. We deny that we are overweight or that we spend too much money on useless 'things." We make all kinds of promises that we have no intention of ever keeping, and when confronted or challenged as to why we did not keep the promises we are quick to blame it on someone else or that the weather was bad or the moon was in the wrong position in the sky.
   Sometimes living in denial can have life threatening consequences. What would you do if you knew that a neighbor or friend was living a lifestyle that eventually would kill him or her. You discover that the neighbor or friend had been and still continues to be an abuser of drugs, perscrition to boot! What would you do? The family knew something was wrong. but... Do you do or say nothing and hope that something miraculous happens and the person does not die of an overdose or from some other health complication caused by the abuse?
    What would you do if you found that a child of a friend or relative was involved in criminal activity? Would you report the activity to the police or say something to the family?     
     What would you do if you discovered that someone you knew had become an alcoholic. Would you ride in the car with him or her after they had "spent a night on the town"? Would you allow your children to ride home with them. After all, it's only about one mile to the house?
     You discover that a good friend of the family has become an obsessive gambler, entering the local  casino daily. You have seen him  stealing money from friends and family. What do you do?
     On  recent trip the the grocery store you notice a car parked in the shadows of the building. The car belongs to the most popular teacher in school. In the car not only do you see the teacher, but see see a young student as well. Should  you approach the vehicle, call the police or just ignore the situation and deny that anything is going on, After all it is really none of you business, right?
     What would you do if you found that someone you knew and admired was the victim of domestic violence or child abuse and too scared to come forward  or worse, was not the victim, but the person doing the abusing? Would you confront them, would you call the police or continue to live in a state of denial and hope that no one 'gets really hurt'? I think the events at Penn State illustrate what many would do, because so many who knew just took the easy way out and looked the other way!
     What would you do if you discovered that your child was the victim of emotional abuse from a spouse or partner. Would you step in to protect them knowing what you might be risking?. And what if you were wrong?
     There have been too many examples in the news, too many tragic stories told about what happens when people are reluctant to face the facts. But confrontation is hard. It hurts, not only the person you are confronting, but it is also painful for you.
     Now I can deny that my hair is falling or that I have gained an extra pound or two. I can argue that I really needed the two new pair of pants and shirt, when in reality I could be perfectly satisfied with what I already owned. These are not life or death issues,
      But what would you do if confronted with a life or death issue?

? Would you deny it and look in the other direction?
    
   

With Time on My Hands

            As the  day came to an end, I became aware that I had some time on my hands. No, really, I had time on my hands. I was putting away my freshly washed socks and as I placed them in the drawer, I realized that in the bottom of the drawer were a number of old watches, maybe  a dozen or more.

         There were two watches that were owned by my grandfather, including a pocket watch and chain. There were several from my father and then there were the ones that I had purchased over the years. Among the collection was the first watch I had ever owned, a Christmas gift from my grandparents, engraved on the back with the year and date. There was a watch from wife with my college alma mater on its face.  

       There were no great finds here in monetary terms, only the value in memories.  Each watch had stopped at a different hour and different minute.

          As I pondered the fate of the collection, I began to think about the concept of time. It is one thing that every person alive in the world has in common. Male, female, black, white or Hispanic, we are truly created equal, at least when it comes to time. Sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour and twenty four hours in a day. It is what we do with that time during a lifetime that makes us different.

          There is the neighbor down the street who appears to be involved in every committee going in town. How does he find the time? So what if he cuts his grass after the sun has gone down while I am trying to watch television, or the soccer mom, taking the kids to practice, then racing home to cook dinner and out to the PTA meeting.

          I remember trying to cram as much into a twenty four hour period as I possibly could. The job and family demanded it, life demanded it, or so I thought. But the second hand continued to tick off the seconds at a consistent, rhythmic pace, the same for everyone on the planet. No person’s second is any longer or shorter than anyone else’s.

           But that is where the similarity ends. While each minute and hour may be the same, it is the total amount of time we spent living that varies. There are many who live well into old age while others die at a young age because of illness or some catastrophic event that cuts short a life. One only needs to read the obituary pages in the local newspaper to see the range of ages at which people lose a life to accident, illness or some other cause.

          As I looked at the watches in my hand, each one had stopped at a different moment and I began to understand that ‘time’is a gift.  I thought about how much time I had wasted. That time wasted was something I would never gain back, no mater how long I lived. It was gone. What I decided at that moment was that I didn’t want to waste any more time again.

        (By the way, I don’t wear a watch any more.)

         

The Cold Within

   Every once and a while a book, article or poem crosses my path and attracts my attention. What I have come to appreciate since becoming part of the journalistic world is how difficult it sometimes can be to put thoughts down on paper and have them make sense to the reader. I know what I want to say, but the challenge becomes selecting the words so others understand my thoughts. It is easy to come up with words. Our vocabulary has too many of them. It is more difficult to choose the ones that express the emotion and passion I wish to share.

   I have come to admire those writers who make the art of writing seem so effortless. Whether it is a news story or one of these crazy columns, it has sharpened my writing skills and given me a new understanding of how difficult it can be to express oneself in written words.

   I am always on the lookout for something that causes me to pause, ponder the message and challenge my thinking. It is somewhat of an test for my personal grounding and values.

   Several years ago I came across a poem. I had all but forgotten about it until I found packed away in a folder with some meaningless piece of paper as I cleaned and straighten up the garage. So much for my appreciation of literature, right?

   As I read it again for the first time in many years, I was struck by its message, simple, yet a revelation about people and human behavior. A cold chill ran up and down my spine ,along with that “aha” moment, as I thought about the sticks of wood that I often hold in my hand.

   I do not remember how the poem came into my possession or anything about the writer other than his name. I believe I was told it was written by a high school student.  Whether that is true or not, I don't know. But regardless of his age, the message is insightful and packed with some powerful life lessons.

   So for your reading pleasure..............

The Cold Within

Six humans trapped by happenstance, in bleak and bitter cold,

Each one possessed a stick of wood, or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs, the first man held his back,

For of the faces 'round the fire, he noticed one was black.

The next man looking cross the way, saw one not from his church,

And couldn't bring himself to give the fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes, he gave his coat a hitch,

Why should his log be put to use to warm the idle rich.

The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store,

And how to keep what he had earned from lazy\, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge as the fire passed from sight,

For all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white.

The last man of this forlorn group did naught except for gain,

Giving only to those who gave was how he played the game.

Their logs held tight in death's still hand was proof of human sin,

They didn't die from the cold outside, they died from the the cold within.

Jay Patrick Kinney

I wrote this column several months ago at the beginning of the Penn State investigation, so some of it's content will sound dated. But, periodically something will appear on the news regarding this monster and the question I ask is..."why do we keep giving this person the celebrity he does not deserve. Most recently he was labeled a ''prolific writer as he works on his second book, while in jail. He's prolific alright!! Prolific at ruining hundreds of lives!

500 Words

Disgusting, Despicable and Discouraging

I usually try to stay away from this type of column. It is easier to write about humorous or light-hearted topics. But this hasn't been necessarily a light-hearted week. The news has been filled with the evolving story coming out of Penn State University and the child abuse that went undetected. Maybe. Unnoticed. Maybe. But when discovered, unreported without a doubt. The truly sad part of these events are the young children who have lived with the experiences and I suspect fear, caused by an adult, a coach and someone in control.

The actions of the coach involved are truly disgusting at least. As I watched him paraded from location to location in news reports, dressed in suit and tie and smiling for the camera, I wonder what was going on in his sick and damaged mind . What kind of childhood did he experience that caused him do the things he did .Was he able to comprehend the emotional damage he inflicted on his victims. There are no excuses or explanations, although some will try.

But he will get his due, spending a major portion of the remainder of his life in prison, at public expense of course. No more nicely tailored suits now. Everything will be prison orange.

To allow something to remain hidden and buried for so long within the hallowed walls of such a famous institution speaks to what we value. Perhaps it speaks more to what we fear. A storied program, a legendary coach, and thousands of graduates are now scarred by the actions of one very sick individual and the inaction by those around him. How many students walked the campus during those years, unaware of what was occurring in the locker room and shower, where young boys, I suspect, with tears streaming down their faces, failed to understand what was really taking place. If those walking the campus had known, what would they have done?

At some level, it was reassuring that at least some began to put life in a context and understand that there is more to life than a football team and a coach. After the initial reaction of the students, the emotions of many shifted from anger and misunderstanding to one compassion and a better understanding of what really had taken place. The reality of life is that it could have been one of them or worse, their little brother.

Now, here comes the disturbing part. What happened at Penn State, where young children were sexually abused, takes place every day, someplace. It may take place at a local gym, a church, a family bedroom or the back seat of a car. It is one adult, in control, destroying the life and taking away the innocence of a young child, for a few brief minutes of pleasure. Perhaps it is someone establishing, in the child's mind, a new norm of 'acceptable' behavior.

As a school superintendent I remember the evening with such clarity when I received a phone call at home asking that I come to the high school as soon as possible. “There were some things I need to see.”

On a bulletin board, tucked away in the corner of a coach's office but out of general view, were pictures of students in varying degrees of dress and undress. On the floor were letters and notes to and from students, but one in particular caught my attention. The evening resulted in a phone call to the local police, a phone call to the student's parents and eventually a locker search.

What is discouraging and somewhat frightening for me is what we don't know. We are generally realistic in our view of life to know that these types of actions and behaviors occur, but we don't know why. Maybe we are just not willing to learn the real reasons why. It's just not a high priority on most people's radar, until something like this happens.