I remember having a discussion with our then 5 year old granddaughter several years ago. Ava was telling me about her new best friend at school. As a 5 year old can be, she was very excited in her descriptions and her words often ran together with excitement. This new friend must have been someone really special. I proceeded to ask her why she was her new best friend.
Ava was quick to respond that her new friend shared her toys with her. That is a big issue when you are 5 years old. If someone doesn't share, they are not a good friend. (Those were my words.)
A good friend shares cookies at snack time and sits next to you during story time. They ask you over to their house for a party after school, even though mom may know nothing about it, because there really is no party.
If it's raining outside, a good friend will let you use one of their yellow rubber boots so your shoes don't get wet. Maybe even the rain coat too, the one with pictures of Daffy Duck all over it.
A good friend doesn't throw toys at you or make you cry. A good friend makes you laugh, leaves you alone when you want to play alone and maybe stands outside the bathroom door so no one will come in.
Realizing that these were her ideas but with some of my words, I thought about how we, as adults, select our friends. Having friends is important. “No man or woman, regardless of how young or old, is an island.”
As we get older, begin to raise families, get a job, become involved in the community, many people come into our life, Some are part of our life for only a short time while others stick around for a while.
Fast forward to 2015. I recently saw a post on my Facebook page. It was one of those 'poster type quotes' and was credited to Billy Cox Motivational. And the quote...."Everyone who comes into your life is either a blessing or a lesson."
I recently finished a short term temporary job, one that kept me busy the past few weeks and even though the weather was not the best, with very cold temps, strong winds and record snow fall, I did have the opportunity to get out and interact with many people I had never met. There were some times I did cross a path or two with folks from the past, but for the most part, these were folks I had never met before.
But as the job came to an end this week and I packed up my left over supplies, I began to think about some of the people I had met and what impact they might have had upon me. Had they been a 'blessing' or a 'lesson?' Or is it possible they could have been both?
With those I worked closely with almost every day, each added a bit of "them self' to my life and I thought about how lucky I was that they had been part of my team. Five complete strangers working well together. Definitely a 'blessing.'
But there were times when we learned some lessons from each other also. Each had their own individual and unique views of the world as we shared some of our stories during the time we spent together on the job. And it were those lessons that taught me things, not only about each of them, but gave me pieces of insight about who I was and what I valued too.
It's interesting to note that even as adults, much older adults I might add, the people who come into our life can still be a blessing or a lesson, teaching us something new about who we are.
Not everyone we meet in life will become a friend. I thought back to my discussion with Ava. In fact some may become an adversary, especially if they throw toys at us. But the lessons we learn even from the adversaries hopefully will teach us more about who we are. What is it about me that makes this other person someone I see as an adversary?
Many who come into our life are those with similar interests and enjoy many of the same things we do. But sometimes it is the differences that are the 'blessing'.
As Ava will learn as she gets older, we tend to be friends with people who accept us for who we are, not necessarily what we are. We look for people who we can trust, someone who will not throw a toy at us when our back is turned, people who will not only be a 'blessing' in our life but also may sometimes teach us a lesson or two.
And a bit of grandfatherly advice for my granddaughter.......Friends can change over time, but "really good friends" can last a lifetime and serve as both a 'blessing' and a 'lesson' for each and every one of us each and every day.
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