Take me out to the ball game...

   Perhaps it was because of the long cold winter or maybe because I have a bit more free time this Spring, but I have found myself setting down and watching more baseball this year. Let there be no question. It's the Red Sox. It could be  one of the early season afternoon games or a night game. I especially like the day games. It's right around nap time. I can watch the opening inning, cover myself in my Red Sox fleece blanket and......wow, it's the 9th inning already!

   Almost as entertaining as the game itself, and the Sox have gotten off to a fairly good start this season, is the play-by-play and running commentary of the Red Sox NESN announcers Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo. Their colorful bantering back and forth as well as the millions of factual updates makes watching the Red Sox, at a minimum, a cultural experience and at best, a whole lot better that those Spring reruns on television. I mean how many times can you watch SVU Special Victims Unit and not become a 'special victim' yourself?

   One of the exciting things about the English language and 'American words' are the interpretations, the adaptability to almost any situation and the reporting of sports events and games is no exception. Each sport, whether it be basketball, hockey or soccer has its own terminology to describe the action and different aspects of the game and baseball is no exception. Jerry and Don do a great job enriching an already colorful language.

   One of the things I have found is that many of the terms and description that make up the play-by-play can be used to not only describe the ballgame, but also may be applied to life around the house as well. Here are a few of my favorites.

   A grand slam.....Now for those who don't know anything about baseball, a grand slam is when someone hits a home run with the bases loaded, scoring a total of four runs. A grand slam at my house might have a very different meaning, like when I hit my fingers with the hammer as I attempt to nail several pieces of wood in place while making a new set of stairs. Damn that hurts.

   The sacrifice fly.... In baseball, a sacrifice fly is when a batter hits a fly ball into the outfield which is caught for an out, but the runner on third base 'tags the bag' and then runs home to score a run. And the 'sacrifice fly' at my house is the one of three flies buzzing around the freshly baked cookies in the kitchen that doesn't get away from my swing of the fly swatter.

   Slider...A slider is a relatively fast pitch with a slight curve in the opposite direction of the throwing arm. 'A slider' at my house this past winter was the way I usually ended up while getting the mail from the mailbox at the end of my driveway.

   Heat... Heat is one of Jerry Remy's favorite terms. Heat is a pitcher's fast ball. Ninety eight mph 'heat'. What a pitch! But heat at home could come by forgetting a birthday or anniversary or breaking a favorite plate or using a brand new pair of sewing scissors to cut electrical wire. Oops.

   High and tight...High and tight is a pitch location thrown above the strike zone and close to the batter. At home? Not in this house, but in the place just down the street with the barking dogs and where the lights stay on for most of the night, I'll let you use your own imagination with this one. There are just too many direction one can go with this one. Could it also be used with “low and outside” too.

   Hit and run... A hit and run is a offensive strategy where the runner on first base starts to run toward second base as the pitcher releases the ball and the batter is obligated to swing at the pitch, hitting it behind the base runner into right field. Now that's way too complicated for me. 
   But I did recently have a hit and run at home when someone in a local parking lot hit the passenger side of my car, causing significant damage and left the scene of the accident. The good news, I was able to get the car fixed fairly quickly. The bad news, because we had no idea who hit the car, I had to pay the deductible.

   One other piece of information. Someone getting out of their car near the scene was able to get a license plate number and a description of the vehicle, but when the police attempted to search the plate number in the data base, there was no such number to be found. Hmmm.

   The diamond...The diamond is the layout of the four bases in the infield. It's actually a square tipped on it's side. But from most places where you sit in the stands, it resembles a diamond. And at home, a diamond might be a nice gift to get 'someone' if the other 'someone' wants to continue to watch the games. How about a nice pair of diamond earrings?

   It's been a pretty good start to the season so far, although the Tampa Bay Rays have given the Sox 'fits' this past week. As of today, there is a three way tie for the top spot in the division (Boston, Tampa Bay and yes, the evil empire), but it's still early in the season. And as for today's game, game time is 1:35 pm. I'll be letting all my telephone calls go to voice mail and... where is my fleece blanket?  

                                     

                                                     

'Rites ' of passage...

   Life is changing. The world is changing. But there seems to be one part of growing up that remains constant. Regardless of your age, there are certain things that happen, particular events that take place and in order to move to 'the next level' of becoming an adult or to insure you have the proper credentials, each of us must carefully navigate the unofficial ”rites of passage” before becoming a full-fledged adult. And it is only after the skill and grace or the fumbling or falling with which we tackle these events, then, are we allowed to move forward. And how do I know this? What gives me the authority and the right to make such claims? Because.......I am a grandparent!

   As a grandparent, I have done it all, or at least most of it, as part of my own transition into “grandparenthood”. Now, I watch my grandchildren grow as each day passes, taking the 'next big steps'. I am not talking about those first baby steps of learning to walk, although they are important. In fact, I recently saw a nine month old learning to walk that would put Tom Brady's swagger to shame.

   I'm speaking of the really important things. For example...learning proper telephone etiquette.... the first time a child answers the phone. OK. So the telephone with which I grew up, the one that hung on the wall, is now a bit outdated. But today's younger generation seems to have mastered the use of the cell phone quite well. My youngest granddaughter, age 8, can not only answer incoming calls but play all kinds of games and even check on the upcoming weather forecast for the next family vacation in Florida.

   The first sleepover at a friends house is another important event in that transition into adulthood and while kids react differently to that first night away, I might be a bit cautious, if, at the suggestion of a sleepover, the child throws a few pieces of clothing into a bag and races to the car, car keys in hand! Come on, let's go.

   The early teenage years offer the most challenging and possibly the most important events, not only for the 12 or 13 year old, but the parent and sometimes the grandparent too. From picking out their own styles of clothing at the store to attending the first party with both girls and boys... now who is going to be there? And their parents will be at home the entire time, 'rite'?

   The first junior high/ middle school dance can be the most unsettling for a parent. Well, maybe not the first, maybe the second or the third .... or who is this boy that keeps calling you on your cell phone now. A group of kids is going...where... after the next dance?

   But here is the one that makes me really begin to feel my age. Our oldest granddaughter is learning to drive, at age 15 mind you! Now, I know. I learned to drive at age 12, an old army Jeep, racing around the field and into the woods next to my house where the only thing I might bump into was a startled skunk or ground hog or a tree. But my first driving experience was not on the city streets of Portland. (Back in those days, we couldn't take driver education until age 17 and there didn't seem to be as much traffic back then.)

   Learning to drive was an exciting experience, even back in the day, and it still serves as a fun experience today. Ah, the 'soon to have freedom' of the open road! Just being able to go to the store on my own. But do I really have to pick up my little sister after basketball practice?

   There's a lot to learn, like how to start the car, make left hand turns and all the rules of the road, but perhaps, it can serve as a learning experience about other drivers on the road as well. Case in point...

   It was not a long trip. After school, it was a quick stop at the motor vehicle office with Mom of course, then a short drive around a few blocks ending up at the local Hannaford parking lot to pick up a few groceries for supper and an opportunity to practice putting the car squarely in between those white lines.

   Several of the cars that were following her must have been in a hurry, honking their horns, passing in no passing' zones and waving and shouting as they raced by at high rates of speed. Ashley was using her blinkers at the appropriate time, traveling the posted speed limits within the city and doing everything she had been taught, but it was obvious that it was not to the satisfaction of those driving behind her and they let her know it in one way or another.

   Returning to the car in the parking lot at Hannaford's, her younger sister quickly noticed that someone had written in the dirt on the back of the car......”jackass.” Ava was quite upset that someone might have made fun of her older sister's parking. And the lesson here... don't let the car get too dirty so that people can write nasty messages.. (Sitting in a car several parking spots away were three or four teenage boys, not that they had anything to do with it!)

    Growing up is not always easy. There are many 'points of passage'. But from someone who has entered still a new era, a new time in life, I suspect there may still be many more 'rites of passage' to come for me too. 

Hair raising experiences.....

   I was returning from an appointment on the other side of town. As I passed the local barber shop, I noticed that, except for the barber, the shop was empty. The lights were on and the Open flag waved wildly in the breeze. I looked in the rear view mirror, back into the shop, did a quick U-turn in the center of town on Main Street and parked my car not ten feet from the front door. I needed a hair cut and this was probably as good a time as any.

   Now for those of you that know me, please stop laughing. I know it has been many years since I have had a full head of hair. But even with a rapidly receding hairline,  I still needed a trim every now and then. The good news on this particular day, the shop was empty and I wouldn't have to wait. The bad news, regardless of the amount of hair I have or don't have, I still have to pay as if I had, well, you know.......

   Over the years I have had every type of haircut imaginable. There was 'the part' on the left side, then 'the part' on the right. There was the buzz cut, the crew cut, the flat top with that disgusting wax to keep it sticking straight up. There was the flat top with the side wings combing into the d.a. on the back. (duck's ass I think it was called.) And then there was the 'Beatles” cut. Who didn't want to have a  'Beatles” cut.

   There were all kinds and sizes of sideburns, from none to ones that almost joined at the chin. My favorite...the mutton chops. Long, almost shoulder length hair, mutton chops and a mustache, now there was a look! (Golly! I think I saw one of those in Walmart just the other day. Must have been a throw back Thursday.) 

   Generally, from a young age, my hair was blond or light brown  in color, except during the Beach-boy era when, with the help of a bit of dye or peroxide, it almost tuned white. These days, when it gets a bit longer, it is white, pure white, along with the beard, with  no help from dye or peroxide.

   I can remember riding my bike to the local barber shop in my hometown in New Jersey, with $3 dollars in my pocket, plus a dollar for the tip. I also had a quarter for the soda machine, but only after my hair cut.

   There were five chairs and five barbers and the place always seemed busy, radio blaring. The men were always talking and the discussions sometimes became heated. But at my age back then I was too young to understand the cultural and political importance of “the local barber shop.”

   I knew I was growing up when I graduated from the extra seat they put over the arms in the chair to make me a bit taller to the point where I could actually sit in the real chair, my neck wrapped in tissue paper and my body draped in a cape to keep the freshly cut hair off my clothes.

   I guess I was really grown up when, instead of going to a barber shop I started going to the 'upscale' hair stylist. By now, there often appeared to be more hair in my comb than on my head. My goal was to get a cut, a style, that made me look like I had more hair than I really did and for a long time the deception work, at least when I looked in mirror.

   At different times there were longer cuts, then shorter cuts, beards, then goatees and back to beards to draw the attention away from the shiny dome  top of my head down to my chin.

   What I really liked about 'upscale' was, depending upon the time of day, a hot cup of coffee or the glass of wine along with the gentle banter between the stylists and the customers. It was a great place to pick up on the local news, you know, the who, what, where, when, and did she or he really do that! Is that what they talked about back in the barber shop when I was a kid?

   Recently, my favorite hair stylist decided to close up shop. It was a sad moment, but I understood that, for her and for me, it was time to move on. The thought of training someone new was overwhelming though. There must be an easy way.

   I decided I would give the local barber shop a shot. I mean....the only difference between a good hair cut and a bad one is 30 days. Right?

   It's a small shop, only one very old barber chair, five firehouse-type chairs lined up against the wall for customers to sit and wait their turn and some very outdated magazines on a table. It looks a lot like Floyd's Barber Shop on the Andy Griffith reruns. No coffee or wine here, unless you bring it in yourself. 

   The decor is reflective of barber shops of the past. There was a barber pole just outside the door, but some kids broke it a few months ago, so now Sam just uses an 'Open'  flag.      Back inside, the only thing I thought missing was the razor strop hanging from the side of the chair... and the blaring radio.

   I have been in to get a haircut (trim)  several times now and he seems to do a fairly good job. I mean, after all, there is not a great deal to mess up.  But what I have really like is that... I've gotten caught up on all the town gossip. It's nice to know that after all these years some traditions never die.  
     
   





                                                        

Guess who's coming to dinner....

   Several days ago, the local newspaper did an interview with the athletic director at the local university. He is new to the area but it was not the typical interview one might expect, especially if you are an avid local college sports fan. The interview was criticized by some of the readers because it did not focus on building championship teams or the firing of incompetent coaches. It was a real 'fluff' piece and included questions about his favorite restaurants in the area, what and where he had visited since arriving and Maine, and of course, this year's weather.

   One of the questions he was asked....If you could invite any four famous people, either past or present, to dinner, who might they be and why? I too, thought the question a bit unusual for this type of article, but the question did get me thinking about who I might invite to dinner, or at least invite to a late morning brunch.

   After some serious thought, I decided that it was too difficult to select just four guests. Instead, I decided I would host three different dinner parties . 
   At the first dinner, I would choose four people who represented their century, their time in history, maybe thousands of years ago, I mean way back, the early philosophers, explorers and world conquerors.

   The second group would include early founders and leaders of this country, the architects who built this nation, more contemporary leaders.  
   And the third group, names more familiar in the 21^st century and a direct connection to Maine.

   With the table set and invitations on their way, my first dinner would  include Alexander the Great (and if he is unable to attend, Julius Caesar). Not only a world conqueror, Alex was tutored and taught by Aristotle. Who better to be a tutor. ( Have you ever noticed that folks back in the early days only had one name. Kind of like Cher.)

   World exploration has always been a hot topic at dinner, so my hope is that Ferdinand Magellan, considered the first to circumnavigate the globe, might talk about some of his travels and vacation 'hot spots' he found along the way.

   Galileo or Sir Isaac Newton might be willing to keep the discussion going with some of their latest findings and discoveries. Who doesn't like to talk about the latest in outer space and beyond or perhaps a new star or planet?

   And if they are unable to attend, there is always that guy who made high school so challenging with his theorem, Mr. Pythagoras.

   American history has always been an interest of mine, so my next little 'get together' would include some of early America's more famous.

   Of course, where would we be without Christopher Columbus and his discovery. His real intention was to not discover America but to find new trading partners in China and if his Nuvi- Garman had been working properly, America might not have been discovered for another 100 years. If Lewis and Clark were to show up to dinner, think about what the three could share in the discussion and the lessons they could teach us about travel and exploration in the new world. (Lesson 1...Always book your hotel stays well in advance!!)

   In the early days of nation-building, Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin played key roles leading up to the break away from England and establishing the United States of America. Jefferson, known as a fine architect and builder was able to take those skills and craft a document that still stands strong today. And Ben Franklin, where would we be without his ingenuous mind and his chain of department stores?

   My third dinner would include people closer to home, so the travel  might be a bit easier. Maine has been home to many who have had a significant impact on shaping the state and the world. This was a difficult decision so I added a  chair or two, because choosing just four proved to be  too difficult.

   Who has not read some of the work of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Didn't we all learn about Paul Revere and his famous ride through the streets of Boston by reading some of his poems? Just think. He was born right here in Portland, Maine. He must have been vacationing in Boston at the time though. And if he were unable to attend, there is always E.B. White. Now there is someone to chew the fat with!

   I would love to sit down with Joshua Chamberlain and get 'his take' on the Civil War, military leadership and command, teaching and learning at Bowdoin College and life in Maine after the war. And as part of the  dinner group, I am sure that Dorothea Dix would have some things to add to the discussion as well. I wonder what she would say today about the struggle to create a universal health care program?

   On the political side, as Maine's first Governor, what advice might William King have for today's current governor. Joined with the likes of Ed Muskie, Margaret Chase Smith, William Cohen, George Mitchell and Olympia Snowe, what insights and lessons might they share based upon their political and personal life experiences at this "political round table" .

   Maybe the question asked to the new athletic director was not so crazy after all. What it forced me to do was to consider the people, places, ideas, things that may have influenced life and thinking as we know it today. Who, in the past or present, would you really like to get to know better, have dinner with?

  Now...  as to what to serve my guests for dinner........