'Rites ' of passage...

   Life is changing. The world is changing. But there seems to be one part of growing up that remains constant. Regardless of your age, there are certain things that happen, particular events that take place and in order to move to 'the next level' of becoming an adult or to insure you have the proper credentials, each of us must carefully navigate the unofficial ”rites of passage” before becoming a full-fledged adult. And it is only after the skill and grace or the fumbling or falling with which we tackle these events, then, are we allowed to move forward. And how do I know this? What gives me the authority and the right to make such claims? Because.......I am a grandparent!

   As a grandparent, I have done it all, or at least most of it, as part of my own transition into “grandparenthood”. Now, I watch my grandchildren grow as each day passes, taking the 'next big steps'. I am not talking about those first baby steps of learning to walk, although they are important. In fact, I recently saw a nine month old learning to walk that would put Tom Brady's swagger to shame.

   I'm speaking of the really important things. For example...learning proper telephone etiquette.... the first time a child answers the phone. OK. So the telephone with which I grew up, the one that hung on the wall, is now a bit outdated. But today's younger generation seems to have mastered the use of the cell phone quite well. My youngest granddaughter, age 8, can not only answer incoming calls but play all kinds of games and even check on the upcoming weather forecast for the next family vacation in Florida.

   The first sleepover at a friends house is another important event in that transition into adulthood and while kids react differently to that first night away, I might be a bit cautious, if, at the suggestion of a sleepover, the child throws a few pieces of clothing into a bag and races to the car, car keys in hand! Come on, let's go.

   The early teenage years offer the most challenging and possibly the most important events, not only for the 12 or 13 year old, but the parent and sometimes the grandparent too. From picking out their own styles of clothing at the store to attending the first party with both girls and boys... now who is going to be there? And their parents will be at home the entire time, 'rite'?

   The first junior high/ middle school dance can be the most unsettling for a parent. Well, maybe not the first, maybe the second or the third .... or who is this boy that keeps calling you on your cell phone now. A group of kids is going...where... after the next dance?

   But here is the one that makes me really begin to feel my age. Our oldest granddaughter is learning to drive, at age 15 mind you! Now, I know. I learned to drive at age 12, an old army Jeep, racing around the field and into the woods next to my house where the only thing I might bump into was a startled skunk or ground hog or a tree. But my first driving experience was not on the city streets of Portland. (Back in those days, we couldn't take driver education until age 17 and there didn't seem to be as much traffic back then.)

   Learning to drive was an exciting experience, even back in the day, and it still serves as a fun experience today. Ah, the 'soon to have freedom' of the open road! Just being able to go to the store on my own. But do I really have to pick up my little sister after basketball practice?

   There's a lot to learn, like how to start the car, make left hand turns and all the rules of the road, but perhaps, it can serve as a learning experience about other drivers on the road as well. Case in point...

   It was not a long trip. After school, it was a quick stop at the motor vehicle office with Mom of course, then a short drive around a few blocks ending up at the local Hannaford parking lot to pick up a few groceries for supper and an opportunity to practice putting the car squarely in between those white lines.

   Several of the cars that were following her must have been in a hurry, honking their horns, passing in no passing' zones and waving and shouting as they raced by at high rates of speed. Ashley was using her blinkers at the appropriate time, traveling the posted speed limits within the city and doing everything she had been taught, but it was obvious that it was not to the satisfaction of those driving behind her and they let her know it in one way or another.

   Returning to the car in the parking lot at Hannaford's, her younger sister quickly noticed that someone had written in the dirt on the back of the car......”jackass.” Ava was quite upset that someone might have made fun of her older sister's parking. And the lesson here... don't let the car get too dirty so that people can write nasty messages.. (Sitting in a car several parking spots away were three or four teenage boys, not that they had anything to do with it!)

    Growing up is not always easy. There are many 'points of passage'. But from someone who has entered still a new era, a new time in life, I suspect there may still be many more 'rites of passage' to come for me too.